Free dissonance. (a Böhme novel) by Sarah Buhl Page B

were sickening they were so sweet. She was also brilliant, and I had to admit to myself I was jealous of them having what I once thought I had.
    “I have no idea. They must need answers, as the rest of us do,” I said as I turned back to the painting one last time before walking to the Böhme.
    When we walked into the gallery Conall was speaking with his band mates. I wanted to take longer to get here, but in true Brecken form, I was ready to leave an hour before I needed to be. I was nervous as hell.
    When I’m nervous, I need to move. I even took the time to get a work out in before getting ready. Along with my need to organize, punching things helped relieve stress. I made the trip to the gym to punch out some of my agitation.
    I became agitated with myself because I wanted to see Blake, but I didn’t at the same time. I decided years ago not to put any hope in a relationship. Relationships were not important to me. But, today seemed to hold importance to me. Blake seemed of more importance to me. But this entire day had moved in fast forward—rushing me to get to this place and wait for Blake. I hadn’t had this anxiousness at seeing another person in years. 
    I took a deep breath, and on the exhale I pushed my thoughts to the side. I’m a grown woman. There’s no reason to be this unsure and nervous. My mom once told me, “ Brecken—boys are going to make you nervous. Boys are going to make you want to do things you wouldn’t normally do. Boys are going to piss you the fuck off. Love and life do that to us. But never forget who you are, never change yourself for anyone. The universe will lay the right path for you. Don’t try to mold the universe to what you want. It will bring you what you need.”
    I absently watched Conall’s band put their instruments on the stage. I hadn’t met his band yet and guilt for not seeing them live struck me. Conall noticed our arrival and gave me a wave to come over as Jess went to get something to drink.
    “Hey Aunt Breck, come meet everyone,” Conall said as he put his hand atop my shoulder, pulling me into the circle of his band mates. With his other hand he pointed to each of them in turn as he gave me their names: “Stephen, Colin, Matthew, and Pete.”
    “Okay, who’s the drummer?” I asked.
    The one named Matthew nodded. “That would be me,” he said.
    “Cool man. I can't wait to hear you guys tonight,” I said.
    “So I heard you’re going to sing a couple songs with us,” the one named Pete said with a smile.
    “Did you now?” I asked as I turned to Conall and gave him the eye.
    He shrugged and gave me a smile. “Sorry, I knew you'd do it, no need to give me the evil auntie eyes.”
    I punched him in the shoulder lightly, before he left to find Jess. She had stopped to speak with a young kid with dark hair. The kid nodded toward me and I nodded back, wondering why yet another young guy was giving me his attention.
    “So, you’re in a band with Conall too?” Matthew asked.
    “Yep, I play drums,” I said as I stretched my back. I normally wore chucks. The heels I wore today were killing me.
    “I don’t understand how either of you could be in that band,” Matthew said.
    “Yeah, I get it. Cover bands aren’t the best, but being in one helps pay the bills.” I smiled as Conall walked back toward us with Jess and his friend.
    Matthew smiled. “I meant being in it with Saul and Jonesie. I don't see how either of you can do it. Those guys are full of themselves, man,” Matthew said.
    “Yeah, they aren’t the most fun to be around,” Conall said as he nodded to Matthew and stepped in to join the conversation.
    “Brecken, meet Mason. He’s new around here. He plays drums too,” Conall said as he waved his hand toward Mason. Okay, that explains why he was looking at me that way.
    “Hi Mason, nice to meet you. You were at the show last night, weren’t you? How long have you been a drummer?” I asked. Speaking of drumming, my neck was stiff