Free Megan 3 by Mary Hooper Page B

nothing in particular. Then I went to the loo for ages, then I walked around seeing if there might possibly be someone else there I knew. Suppose – just suppose – Jon had been there. How good would
that
have been? Of course he wasn’t, though. I sat down again, wishing I’d brought a book with me.
    I didn’t feel right in there. I didn’t fit in. It wasn’t just I didn’t have my nails done with little sparkly stones sticking on them, or a tattoo on my shoulder, or snakeskin trousers or the latest shoes, it was more than that. All
this
lot were all in some vast, special gang. They could chat up, get chatted up, have dates, flirt, two-time, sleep with whoever they wanted, if they wanted. They had nothing else in the world to worry about except themselves. Me? I couldn’t do anything – anything – without having a big debate with myself first. Should I be doing this? Could I afford it? Could I fit it into my life? What about Jack? Would whatever-it-was affect him?
    As I sat there I began to feel sorry for myself. I’d missed out on a big chunk of my life. Never, ever again was I going to be the same as the other girls there. I’d known this ever since Jack was born, of course, but could usually push it to the back of my mind – when I was shopping, or cooking, or cleaning it didn’t matter. Here, though, I had to face up to how different I was.
    The lonelier I felt, the more I missed Jack. I watched ‘Chelsea’ and ‘Jonquil’ falling all over the two boys and wondered what he was doing. He’d been fast asleep when I’d left – had he woken up again and missed me? He was OK with Mum if I wasn’t around, but what with the broken nights he was having lately, neither of us was much good at getting him back to sleep.
    I looked at my watch. It was only ten o’clock and I’d told Mum and George that I’d be home on the last bus, which didn’t go until five past eleven. I couldn’t go yet. And anyway, hadn’t I been desperate to get out for ages? If I went home early wouldn’t I regret it later, when I was warming jars of baby food or folding sleeping suits or sorting out the airing cupboard?
    I sat with a rigid smile on my face, looking into the distance as if I could see something extremelyinteresting in the shadows. When any of the four looked over to me I waved cheerily or pulled a face or did something which meant I was having a bloody good time.
    By ten-fifteen I couldn’t stand it any longer. Even if what Josie had said was true, it would be OK to go home now because Ellie was due in at ten, so I wasn’t going to interrupt anything. I said goodbye to the others – by true mistake calling Josie by her real name instead of Jonquil – and set off.
    Back at the flats, Witch’s Brew had just come out of her friend’s flat on our floor. It was uncanny really, any coming and going anywhere in our block and she seemed to be there.
    ‘How’s the new addition to your household?’ she asked.
    ‘Jack? I’ve had him over a year now,’ I said, deliberately misunderstanding her.
    ‘I don’t mean Jack – I mean your mum’s fancy man. Settled in, has he?’
    I grinned to myself. ‘Yes, I think so.’
    ‘Be getting crowded in your place now.’
    ‘It is a bit.’
    ‘Still, maybe he’ll be buying you a new house soon.’
    ‘That’d be nice,’ I said, opening the front door.
    I was just going to shout out hello when Mum called, ‘Is that you, Megan? About time!’
    ‘What d’you mean? I’m early!’ I called back, and then there was a thump as Jack jumped down from the sofa and ran along the corridor towards me. He made a noise that was something like ‘Moom!’, hurled his arms around my legs and hugged me tight, and I felt the funny mixture of delight and exasperation that I always felt when I came in and he clung on to me. A part of me was thrilled that he was so pleased to see me, but the other part was irritated at him acting as if I’d been to the Himalayas for six weeks when