Free Simplicissimus by Johann Grimmelshausen Page B

at first when, ever conscious of His law and the gospel and Christ’s warnings, I saw what was done by those who claimed to be his disciples and followers. Instead of the plain dealing one should expect from every honest Christian, I found nothing but hypocrisy among the inhabitants of the world and such countless follies that I was unsure whether I was among Christians or not. It was clear that many were well aware of God’s will, but few showed any serious intention of carrying it out.
    So I had a thousand strange thoughts and fancies in my mind and was sorely tempted to break Christ’s command, when He said to us, ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged.’ On the other hand, I remembered the words Saint Paul wrote in the fifth chapter of the Epistle to the Galatians, ‘Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings and such like; of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.’ Everyone, I thought, does these things openly, so why should I not openly conclude from the words of the Apostle that not everyone will be saved?
    Along with pride and greed and their worthy retinue of minor vices, gluttony and drunkenness, whoring and buggery were daily practices among those of position and wealth. What shocked me most of all, however, was the fact that some, especially soldiers, whose vices are generally not very severely punished, made a joke both of their own godlessness and of God’s holy will. For example I once heard an adulterer, who even expected praise for his shameful deed, speak these godless words, ‘It serves the spineless cuckold right that I’ve given him a pair of horns. To tell the truth, I did it less to please the woman than to spite the man and through it take my revenge on him.’
    ‘What empty vengeance’, answered one right-thinking person who was present, ‘if it means sullying your own conscience and bringing on yourself the shame of the adulterer!’
    ‘What do you mean adulterer?’ he replied with a scornful laugh. ‘I follow the commandment which says thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife. Did you not hear when I told you I did it not out of desire for her but to revenge myself on her husband? The Lord says, Thou shalt not steal. Have I stolen? No, I just borrowed the fool’s wife for a while. God joined them together and it is not I but God who will put them asunder through death.’ He continued with his Devil’s catechism, and I sighed to myself and thought what a blasphemous sinner he was, until I could stand it no longer and said to him, even though he was an officer, ‘Do you not think these godless words are a worse sin than your adultery?’ He merely replied, ‘Do you want a box on the ear, you insolent young puppy?’ And I think he would have given me a good thrashing, too, if he had not been afraid of my master. But I held my peace, and afterwards I saw that it was not uncommon for an unmarried person to make eyes at someone who was married and vice versa.
    While I was still studying the path to eternal life with the hermit I wondered why God had so strictly forbidden idolatry to His chosen people. I imagined that anyone who had come to know the true, eternal God would never honour or worship any other, and therefore in my simple mind I concluded that the commandment was unnecessary. Ah, foolishness bred of ignorance! No sooner had I entered the world than I realised that despite this commandment almost every man had his own particular idol, some even had more than the heathens, both past and present. Some kept theirs in their strong-box, in which they placed all their hope and trust; there were those who had their idol at court and put all their confidence in him, even though he was only a