Free Floods 6 by Colin Thompson Page A

pointed at the three sticky, sawdust-covered clowns, who kept trying to stand up only to fall flat on their faces again. If it looked like one of them might manage to get to his feet, one of the chimps would bite him on the ankle.
    â€˜We have three very dirty clowns, haven’t we, boys and girls,’ Carla continued. ‘And what do we do with someone when they get dirty?’
    â€˜BATH! WASH!’ shouted eighty-seven hyperactive children.
    â€˜Yes, that’s right,’ said Carla, ‘and with lots of water.’
    Three of the chimps ran out of the ring. They ran back a minute later, each dragging a big hose.
    â€˜WASH, WASH, WASH, WASH!’ chanted the audience in time to Carla waving her arms up and down.
    While the clowns were being hosed down, the little girl sitting in the row in front of the Floods turned to her father. ‘That was, like, the best circus I have ever been to,’ she said. ‘The chimpanzees were brilliant.’
    What happened next:
    The man who owned the circus knew a good thing when he saw it and Carla Divine was promoted from polishing coconuts to being chief clown. She was given a brand new caravan with enough room for her and the five chimpanzees to live in and, as the six of them sat around her stove toasting marshmallows, they all thought, Life does not get any better than this, together.
    And of course they were right.
    The three mean clowns were allowed to stay on as Carla Divine’s assistants. You might think that they would never agree to that, but Mordonna cast a spell over them so they all thought that Carla Divine was a genius and the highlight of their week became giving the chimps a bubble bath on Friday nights.
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    Of course, the Floods didn’t interfere with the acrobats or high-wire act.
    â€˜If humans want to risk serious injury to themselves , that’s up to them,’ said Mordonna. ‘Though I think we need to get rid of the bouncing kittens. I’m sure they can’t enjoy being dropped onto a trampoline from twenty metres in the air.’
    â€˜No,’ said Betty, ‘but they do look funny going up and down waving their little legs around, don’t they?’
    â€˜Now, darling, that’s not very nice, is it?’ said Mordonna, doing her best not to laugh.
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Betty.
    â€˜She’s right, though, Mum,’ said Morbid. ‘They look hilarious.’
    â€˜Yes,’ said Satanella, ‘and besides, cats are evil little creatures. They’re always trying to scratch me when I chase them.’
    All of this was true, but it was cruel, and so Mordonna changed them into chickens.
    â€˜Which is probably just as cruel,’ said Nerlin, ‘but even funnier than the kittens.’
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Mordonna. ‘I am a witch. I am supposed to be a bit evil – and anyway, the one thing chickens spend every minute thinking about is being able to fly, and now they can. Sort of.’
    After the horse and poodle and clown fiascos, the circus owner almost cancelled the highlight of his show, the lions.
    â€˜The way things are going tonight,’ he said, ‘it could end in serious injury to someone.’
    But, like most so-called ‘lion tamers’, the Port Folio Circus’s lion tamer was a short little macho loser who would never admit to being afraid of anything.
    That was his first mistake.
    As the lion tamer paraded around the ring, pushing out his chest and cracking his whip, the huge steel fence was locked into place and the three lions were pushed down the tunnel into the spotlight.
    The lion tamer cracked his whip and the lions roared. Most people think that circus lions roar because they have been trained to, but theyactually roar because they are miserable and angry. It’s only the whip and the tranquilisers that have been slipped into their water bowls that stop them acting like lions are supposed to.
    When the three lions were all