Free Threads by Patsy Brookshire Page A

Abruptly, he stood up.
    David put a protective arm around my shoulders.
    "You needn't worry," Willie said, the fight gone from him. "I'm through with the both of
you. I'm going home."
    He went to his room and threw everything he owned into his old bag. Before he went
out the door, I handed the moneybag of his savings to him. He looked at it queerly, then took the
money out and stuffed it into his old bag. He dropped the empty bag onto the floor.
    "I forgot my lunch," he said, and then went out, closing the door firmly behind him.
    "Forgot his lunch? Whatever did...?"
    David pointed to Willie's lunch pail, still on the table where I set it for him every
morning. We hadn't even noticed it.

12. But It's All Arranged...
    Maybe it was my condition. After Willie left the tears started. I cried 'til I thought my
heart would crack or my guts fall out. It hurt. All the fear I'd held bottled up came out in one
great gush. Something dried up in me that day. Only one more time was I to cry so deeply, and
even then...
    After it was done, I was drained, like a stone, cold and lifeless. If anything was going to
shake out that baby that day ought to have done it. But, thank God, it didn't.
    David worried about me. For the next few days, he coddled me like a beloved sick child,
bringing me tea with honey in it, cooking soup, trying to make me laugh. Finally, somehow, I
came back to life again, to myself. It was impossible, with David around, to stay gloomy too
long. He was like life itself, always positive that things would turn out for the best.
    He stayed at the cabin until it was time to go pick up Amy. I dreaded his leaving, afraid
I'd never see him again. I knew if I was Amy and he suggested to me what he was about to
suggest to her, that my reaction would be to get him away from there as fast as I could, or
demand that I go. Knowing that Amy's hold on him was longer and stronger than mine, she just
might be able separate us.
    That's one of the reasons I told him I would not agree to live with him and Amy. If she
was half the woman David said she was, she just might be able to put up with me at a distance,
unseen. The truth? I couldn't imagine facing her. Willie's reaction had been so severe against me,
and he was my own flesh and blood. What might hers be?
    Amy held all the cards. With one word she could stop David in his happy tracks, and
destroy me as well. She had only to say No , for I wouldn't fight for him. If he'd ever
given the slightest hint that he was unhappy with Amy, I would have. But he never suggested
leaving her. It never even occurred to him. It was more than the fact that that people seldom got
divorced in those days; she was part of him. They were like the alternating threads in a piece of
fabric, together they made a whole. If I had tried to replace her I'd have had to unwind them first
and it would have weakened David. I loved him too much for that.
    During the time David stayed with me I managed to undermine his confidence in his
happy plan enough to squelch some of his so-obvious glee. It annoyed the hell out of me that he
was so fearless, and it seemed to me, unrealistic. Thus, when he left, he at least had some fear of
Amy's reaction.
    I don't think I slept a wink all night. I walked the floor, and drank coffee. For a while the
slice of moon lit the surf. Then clouds moved in and the moon slid on down the sky, making the
night even darker. I was grateful for the dawn, so I could give up the pretense of sleeping. I made
oatmeal and toast for breakfast and only nibbled the toast. I made bread more for the work of it,
to have something to do, than because I needed it. I pounded and kneaded that dough until all the
air bubbles were popped and the surface was shiny. Might have been the best bread I ever
made.
    By the afternoon I was certain I'd never see David again. My palms were sweaty, my
heart feeling heavy in my chest. I could feel it pounding. With every outside noise I went to the
door and opened it, until I