Free Mister Death's Blue-Eyed Girls by Mary Downing Hahn Page A

"Why?"
    Mom sighs and sits on the bed beside me. Gently she runs one finger up and down the inside of my arm, something she did to help me sleep when I was little. It comforts me.
    "They were just kids," I say. "They didn't do anything. Why did they have to die?"
    "I'm sure God has a reason." Mom's voice is low. She doesn't believe what she's saying. I can hear the lie.
    I'm tempted to say she's not fooling me. I know a lie when I hear one. But what's the point? She's just saying what people always say. Maybe she really believes it. Maybe she just wants to believe it.
God has a plan. There's a reason for everything.
Maybe that comforts her. Why doesn't it comfort me?
    I sit up straighter, look her in the eye. "Why does God let horrible things happen to people?"
    She tucks a frizzle of hair behind my ear, but before she can say anything I let more words tumble out of my mouth. It's as if everything I've never said out loud has broken loose. "If He's so powerful, why does He let wars happen and earthquakes and floods and fires and car crashes and plane crashes and cancer—"
    "Hush." Mom strokes my arm again. "I know how upset and sad you are, but don't let it affect your faith. Maybe you should talk to a priest. Someone with more knowledge than I have."
    I nod. Yes, maybe I should do that, maybe I will. Priests must know the answers to questions like mine. That's why they're priests.
    "It's on the ten o'clock news," Billy shouts from downstairs. "They're talking to people in the neighborhood."
    Mom stands up. "Do you want to see what they have to say?"
    I shake my head and turn my back. I don't want to see any pictures or hear any newsmen talking about Cheryl and Bobbi Jo.
    The phone rings. Billy shouts, "Nora, it's Ellie."
    I go downstairs. From the living room I hear a newscaster saying, "It's hard to believe something like this could happen in a peaceful suburban park."
    Without listening to more or taking a look at the TV screen, I drag the phone into the bathroom and shut the door.
    "It's me," Ellie says. Her voice is hoarse and low. "Did you watch the news on TV?"
    "No," I whisper.
    "Me either."
    We sit there connected by the telephone line, not speaking, just breathing.
    Ellie breaks the silence. "The police are interviewing everybody who was at the party last night," she tells me. "Why don't you come over tomorrow? We can be together when they come to my house."
    I hesitate. How can I tell Ellie I never want to come to her house again? I don't want to see Mrs. Boyd. I don't want to see the park. I want to go to some place I've never been, a place where nobody's friends are murdered.
    "What's wrong?" Ellie whispers in her sad, croaky voice. "Don't you want to come?"
    I swallow hard. I grip the receiver. My chest is so tight, I wonder if I'm about to have a heart attack. "I, um, I um, I mean I..." I wrap the telephone cord around my neck and wonder if it's possible to strangle yourself.
    "Nora, please come," Ellie begs. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going crazy or something, like I could scream and scream and scream."
    I test the cord, pulling it a little tighter, but when it starts choking me, I let it go. "Me too. I feel the same way." It's true. Nothing will ever be normal again. Not me. Not Ellie. Not the Boyds or the Millers. Not Charlie or Paul or Walt.
    "So will you come?" Ellie asks.
    I nod slowly. "Yes," I say. "Yes. I'll come."
    "About ten?"
    "Yes."
    We sit silently again, breathing into the phone. Before, we've always had so much to talk about, interrupting each other, laughing, making jokes. Now I can't think of what to say. And neither can she.
    "It's awful here," Ellie says at last. "I can hear the Boyds crying right through the wall. Even Mr. Boyd. I heard Mrs. Boyd say, 'If only I hadn't let her walk to school with Cheryl. She didn't have any reason to go. Why didn't I say no?' Then Mr. Boyd said, 'You couldn't have known.' It was just like they were in our house."
    Ellie pauses, blows her