Free Fell of Dark by Patrick Downes Page A

like a year. I thought about asking her to a movie. I imagined kissing her, and I wondered for a moment, a split second, if she could be you after all. I finally wrote.
Your light’s too bright for me, Gemma. You’re too glittery. You should be with a boy who talks, and every word he says should be your name.
    She took the note, read it, folded it carefully, and slid it into her white pleather purse. “Here’s the problem with you,” she said. “You just wrote the most amazing thing, the perfect thing. What girl doesn’t want a compliment like that? But you’re saying you won’t have me. Or you think I won’t have you.” She shook her head at me: “You’re so dumb. I don’t understand you at all. You don’t want me with Sam. I know you don’t want that. All you have to do is take a walk with me or ask me to a movie. We could sit together without saying a word the whole time.”
    Gemma twisted the strap of her purse in her hands. “I talk enough for the two of us,” she said. “But when I shut up, we’ll kiss. You’re the best-looking boy in school, even if you’re the weirdest. What are the chances of that? The weirdest boy is also the smartest, biggest, and cutest. It’s not like I haven’t thought about you already. It’s not like I don’t wonder what you’d be like.”
    She took one more breath and sighed. “Nobody would mess with you if we went out together. You’re huge and crazy.”
    Wait,
I wrote.
Crazy?
    â€œCome on, Erik,” she said. “You know you are. This can’t be a surprise. It’s part of what makes you you.”
    I shook my head and wrote,
I don’t know if I’m crazy, but I can’t figure out anything. I want to concentrate. That’s all.
    â€œConcentrate on what?” Gemma said. “Whatever. I know you will. But before then, you should take me out.”
    I had to get away from her.
    No, Gemma. I can’t do that. I’m sorry. I have to go.
    â€œYou don’t care who gets the light?” she called after me. “Even if it’s Sam?”

    I think what’s most interesting about the Seven Deadlies and the Seven Heavenlies is that they all exist in each other. The Seven Sins mingle. The Seven Heavenlies mingle. But they stand on opposite sides of the room, like boys and girls at a sixth-grade dance, and can’t stand to look at each other. I know what I’m talking about.
    Some say the Deadlies start with Pride and the Heavenlies with Charity, with Love. It’s true. If we put ourselves above everything else, we fall, we fall into anger and laziness and all the others. Love, nothing is harder than love, nothing wants or asks more from us. Love gives us everything that’s good in us.

    Which of the Deadlies is it hardest for me to avoid, and which of the Heavenlies is hardest for me to practice? Of the Sins, I’m angriest. This makes Satan happy. Patience has a tough time.
    When will my anger go away? Nothing takes away from it. It’s infinite, but it doesn’t belong to me. It was put into me in a locked garage by a man I might never see again, a man I might not even recognize if he stood right here, but it doesn’t belong to me.
    Anger. I know it will leave me the more I love.
    I don’t even know what that means, but I know it’s true.

Footnote
    GEMMA’S SEEING SAM AGAIN, and Sam looks the same as he did before. He’s careless and smirking, but I have no right to judge. I have to turn away from Gemma, especially when she tries to catch my eye.
    I have my blood and the promise of some fate, a fate that includes you. Right? You’re a sure thing, yes?

Negative Space
    I JUST WENT INTO the kitchen and poured myself a glass of milk, almost to the top. The glass might be five-sixths full. Above the white milk, there’s the empty part of the glass.
    Would anyone see the glass as