Free Into the Wilderness: Blood of the Lamb (Book Two) by Mandy Hager Page A

stars, charting her position subconsciously as she located the Maiaki Cross. Somewhere, way across the sea, it shone down on her father's home. Would he have been so angry and unforgiving if her mother had lived?
    â€œMaryam, is that you?” Joseph's query shook her from her musings, and she bobbed down, hiding her nakedness as she tracked his voice. He stood at the edge of the water, backlit by the fire.
    â€œShhhh,” she whispered across to him. “You'll wake the others.”
    â€œHang on a minute! I'm coming in!”
    Before she could argue, he had stripped off his clothes andwaded in, his hands strategically placed across the parts she feared to see. He squatted down and made his way across to her clumsily on bended knees. “Are you all right?”
    â€œI'm fine,” she said. “I just needed some time to think.”
    He was right next to her now, the water lapping at his shoulders. “You look like a seal,” he murmured, reaching out to tuck stray tendrils of her hair back into her plait. His fingers lingered on her neck, cupping it, his thumb circling the fine curls at its nape.
    She could hardly breathe. His hand slid to her shoulder, drawing her around until they faced each other, only a hand's width of lapping water between them. She knew she should pull away, put distance and propriety between them, yet she couldn't— couldn't . It felt as though the tide pressed up against her back to trap her there and she was powerless to intervene.
    Never before had she been so conscious of her body. She knew Joseph had glimpsed it when Father Joshua stripped her bare before the entire congregation of the Holy City when she'd first Crossed. But now it really mattered to her, and she felt ashamed. She'd always been so small—Mother Elizabeth's “tebebi”; she'd been late to get her bloods and was still as lean and lacking curves as a young boy. Would he think her ugly if he saw her now?
    The whites of his eyes shone silver as he leaned across the distance, every fraction of an inch heightening her apprehension, until he met her with his lips. All the strength in her legs gave way and she floated up against his chest, nipple meeting tingling nipple with a terrifying recognition as the kiss transformed to something so heated she truly felt that she would burst.
    He drew back from her, panting, holding her gaze as his fingers slid down from her shoulders to tentatively brush her breasts. Even as her body trembled, her hands rose instinctively to push him away.
    â€œDon't,” she whispered, barely able to find the air to force the word out past her lips.
    His pupils were so dilated his eyes looked black. “Do you want me to go away?”
    â€œYes,” she said, then panicked. “No.” She didn't know. “It's just I'm so small and ugly,” she blurted. Stupid. That's not what she had meant to say.
    â€œBut you're beautiful,” he said. “You must know that.” He took her hand, rising to his feet so quickly she had no time to protest as he pulled her up as well. And now he grasped her other hand, hoisting her arms out from her sides to stop her as she tried to free them. “Oh Lord,” he said. “You have no idea how beautiful.”
    She locked her eyes on his face, terrified to look down at his nakedness. She was a Blessed Sister, her body sacred and her life forever destined to be sacrificed to the Lord. It was a sin, this act—this wonderful and overwhelming act—her elders had told her it was not allowed.
    â€œThis is wrong,” she said.
    He dropped her hands and instantly she shielded her pubic hair. “How can it be wrong?” he asked. “I love you.”
    She closed her eyes. He had said it, used the word! But did his saying it make this right? She wanted more than anything to think it so—to take away the nervous hurt she heard now in his voice. Maybe if he really did love her… how could