Free Fate and Ms. Fortune by Saralee Rosenberg Page A

bingo.”
    “Believe me, he was quite the catch. Very tall and debonair…”
    “All right. I’m done listening. It’s a helluva story, but this could all be a big waste of time. He could be dead by now.”
    “He’s not dead…He lives in the Phoenix area…has two children, a son and a daughter, three grandchildren, maybe more now, I don’t know…His wife died in a car accident…”
    “Wait. You’ve spoken to him?”
    “No. I hired a private eye. My friend Sonny’s brother’s next-door neighbor. He located Marvin in Scottsdale. Even took pictures, but I said he should hold on to them. Then a few months ago, I found out the spy guy died and his wife threw out the old files. But at least now I know where to start looking.”
    “This is crazy! You can’t just walk out on Daddy to go chase a man who abandoned you.”
    “What do you always say? I’m like obsessed with the idea? He’s all I think about.”
    “You’re a married woman.”
    “It’s not fair.” She mimicked the fifteen-year-old me. “Everyone else is getting to go.”
    “I don’t care what everyone else is doing…Under my roof you go by my rules. Now go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve thought about the terrible mistakes you’re making.”
    “I never talked like that.” She laughed.
    “Like hell you didn’t…God, I can’t believe what you’re thinking of doing.”
    “See? And I thought for sure with all your craziness, you’d understand.”
    “But you already know the rest of the story. Marvin left you. He married someone else.”
    “I’d like to know if he ever thought about me…if he had any regrets…You read stories in the paper all the time about people finding their long-lost loves.”
    “Exactly. But he wasn’t lost. He ran away.”
    “I don’t care.” She shrugged. “I want to ask him straight to his face. ‘Marvin, why did you do it?’”
    “Mom, c’mon…even you’ve got to admit you’re not an easy person to get along with…He probably got scared and—”
    “He said he loved me,” she snapped. “Not like that nincompoop who married you.”
    “Oh my God.” I leaned in. “What don’t you get? David loved me more than he ever loved anyone in his life.”
    “Then how come he couldn’t stop himself from turning into a hoodlum?”
    “We’ve gone over this. Gambling is a disease. A handicap.”
    “Oh that’s a bunch of hullabaloo. If you don’t want to spend the night at the craps table, you go to the movies. A cripple can’t just decide to get up and head for the fridge.”
    “This isn’t just my opinion, mother. Experts have proven that gambling is an addiction, just like drugs and alcohol abuse. Your body has a physiological need for the rush.”
    “So fine. You can’t stop yourself, you get help.”
    “You know how hard I tried to get him into counseling. He wasn’t ready.”
    “Then he didn’t love you enough.”
    “No, he didn’t love himself enough.”
    “Whatever it was, darling, you’re lucky to be rid of him. Now you can look for a man who’ll take care of you so you don’t have to work all those crazy hours…”
    “No! I’m done shopping for love. I’m much happier being alone.”
    “Who’s happy being alone? That’s nonsense. Of course you want to get married again.”
    “Why? So I can end up like you? Hunting down old lovers from forty years ago to see if they’ve still got tread on the tires?”
    “I’m not saying your father and I didn’t have a good life…I’m saying…Remember that movie I like, the one with Billy Crystal in the restaurant with that little blond girl? And she’s showing him how she fakes—”
    “Don’t you dare,” I whispered so loud, the people at the next table stared.
    “What? I’m just saying. I’m tired of being treated like the old chairs in the den. You can sit on them whenever, so where’s the thrill?”
    “That’s why they invented couples counseling.”
    “No! I’m done talking.” She waved her