Free Service Dress Blues by Michael Bowen Page B

it.
    â€œKuchinski.”
    â€œMelissa. My department chair just dropped something on my desk that I think you might want to see. My last class today ends at ten to four. If you get a chance to stop by a little after that, I’ll be happy to show it to you.”
    â€œI’ll make time. What is it?”
    â€œA proposed presentation for a symposium on domestic violence that Veronica Gephardt’s organization is sponsoring. The title of the presentation is
The Banalization of Spousal Battery in American Popular Culture, 1930 to 1980
. Ms. Gephardt apparently isn’t altogether comfortable with it, so she asked the university’s English Department to vet it. I’m the designated pop culture deconstructionist and stuff flows downhill, so I’m sitting here with it.”
    â€œâ€˜Spousal battery/popular culture.’ You mean like Ralph Kramden saying ‘to the moon, Alice’ in every episode of
The Honeymooners
and Ricky turning Lucy over his knee in
I Love Lucy
and John Wayne swatting Maureen O’Hara in
McLintock
?”
    â€œGood examples, but it goes way beyond that. It shows up in comic books and paperbacks and even print advertising for mainstream products.”
    â€œThe golden age of wife beating,” Kuchinski commented.
    â€œThat’s the thing. At least in popular fiction, it went both ways. That’s one of the problems Gephardt has with it. Some of the examples in this presentation get in the way of the doctrine that men have a monopoly on spouse abuse. Edward Everett Horton’s wife gives him a shiner in
Top Hat
because she thinks he’s been flirting with another woman. Lois Lane throws dishes and rolling pins at Superman in their fantasy marriage. What made me think of you is a running gag in a ’fifties sit-com called
The People’s Choice
. Every time the second banana causes a problem with some kind of kitschy shenanigans, his wife bangs him on the head with a skillet. This is invariably accompanied by a comical ‘ CLANG! ’ sound effect and titters from the laugh track.”
    â€œI’ll bet if I listen closely enough I’ll also hear ‘lack of intent’ in the background. You’re saying that a couple the Lindstroms’ age could easily have the idea that a husbandly or wifely smack now and then isn’t all that big a deal.”
    â€œI have no idea what a jury will think,” Melissa said, “but I thought you might want to take a look at it.”
    â€œYou have provoked my interest, Professor Pennyworth.” Kuchinski paused artfully for three carefully timed beats before he continued. “By the way, has your brother Frank called back yet?”
    â€œNo, he hasn’t. Are you actually going to try to juggle two Lindstrom cases at the same time?”
    â€œI don’t have any choice, because they just became the same case.” Kuchinski briefly explained Harald Lindstrom’s connection to the criminal charge Lena was facing.
    â€œI’ll email Frank and tell him that we’ll call him together when you stop by this afternoon.”
    â€œMuch appreciated.” Kuchinski smiled broadly as he ended the call, and not because he saw a sign promising a Culvers Restaurant at an exit two miles ahead, with the prospect of a double bacon cheeseburger and a chocolate malt. Well, not only because of that.
    ***
    â€œThanks for the early lunch,” Ole told Rep forty-five minutes later as they strolled back into the office suite that Rep now shared with Kuchinski. “But Lena said Walt was going to buy my noon meal.”
    â€œYou’re a witness in her case. This way, if the prosecutor asks you whether Walt gave you anything in exchange for your testimony you can say, ‘No, he didn’t even buy me lunch.’”
    â€œFair enough.”
    â€œI’m guessing Walt will be back within twenty minutes.” Rep glanced at his watch.
    â€œTen,”