Free Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman by Lorelei Elstrom Page B

soap operas are misogynistic.  All the characters are greed mongers… nobody is a millionaire, they are all friggin’ billionaires! They are the polar opposite of local and organic.
     
    REGINA
    (L aughing)
    I know! I feel stupid.
     
    ME
    But if you don’t buy the products, then you're not supporting them at all. You are merely enjoying the story. I can't believe you are embarrassed about watching that.
     
    REGINA
    It feels funny telling you. So what's yours?
     
    ME
    I can't tell you. It's not balanced. Yours was so minor that it almost doesn't qualify.
     
    REGINA
    Yours will probably seem just as minor to me.
     
    ME
    I can't believe we're doing this!
     
    REGINA
    Go on.
     
    ME
    (Big sigh)
    A couple years after I hit puberty, I discovered that…
     
    REGINA
    What? You can say it.
     
    ME
    I found out that if I tied my angles together with a belt, my orgasms would be stronger. I loved the way it felt because it was harder to get my fingers in there and felt more awkward to make it all happen.
     
    REGINA
    And that's your big secret?
     
    ME
    Part of it.
     
    REGINA
    What else?
     
    ME
    After I finished, I liked to stay like that… all night. I found it really sexy and comforting that my ankles were strapped together at night. I would sleep like that.
     
    Sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night, having forgotten that my ankles were tied. At first I would be startled, then quickly I’d start getting turned on again. Sometimes that would happen three times in one night!
     
    REGINA
    Now I'm getting turned on.
     
    ME
    But that's not the whole secret either.
     
    REGINA
    I'm still listening.
     
    ME
    Sometimes I still like to do it… to sleep like that.
     
    REGINA
    (Joking)
    You must be some kind of freak!
     
    ME
    Have you ever done that?
     
    REGINA
    No.
     
    ME
    Well, what do you think?
     
    REGINA
    Do it tonight. Sleep like that!
     
    ME
    You think I should?
     
    REGINA
    Yes! It sounds sexy. I'd join you but I’ll have Tucker in the bed.
    (Pause)
    Wait? Does that mean you are submissive? Maybe you should actually be my slave since you like to be tied up?
     
    ME
    Do you have a dominant side?
     
    REGINA
    I don’t know. This is all so new to me. Articles about S&M in Cosmo and such have piqued my interest, but meeting you somehow brought all this stuff to the surface that I didn’t really know was so strong in me.
     
    I remember reading “The Story of O” when I was about 17.   It’s the story of -
     
    ME
    … a girl who consents to being sent away to a secret S&M society to serve as a slave. It’s a very sexy book!
     
    REGINA
    Right. At 17, I thought the concept was ultra sexy! But I also thought regular romance novels were sexy too. I read all that stuff! But now, I feel what the “Story of O” was really about. It’s about embracing your shadow self.
     
    ME
    Right. So… does your shadow self have a dominant side too?
     
    REGINA
    I don’t know. No. I don’t think I do. That may change; but right now, I just want to be your yours. I want you to degrade me.
     
    What about you? If you like having your ankles tied up, maybe you have a slave side too?
     
    ME
    Sexuality is complex. In my fantasies, I’m both dominant and submissive. Whatever . Let’s just say I’m kinky, however you want to define it. I’ve never been as turned on as when I think about being mean to you… in our game.
     
    REGINA
    We need to play again.
     
    ME
    Yes.
     
    REGINA
    But for now, I need to go to bed… and I need you to tie your ankles together tonight.
     
    ME
    Is that an order?
     
    REGINA
    No, it’s a request from a loving friend.
     
    ME
    We have a fucked up relationship. Go watch your soap opera. Oh, and thanks for the boots!
     
    REGINA
    Goodnight.
     
    W e hung up. And I did it. I had her boots on. So when I awoke this morning and felt my ankles tied together in Regina’s high boots, I took a few minutes for myself (wink, wink!) before starting the usual morning routine.
     
    The sun was