Free Will the Real Raisin Rodriguez Please Stand Up? by Judy Goldschmidt Page A

teacher redecorated her house once, and for the first month afterward I tripped on the umbrella stand every time I went for a lesson.
    (Pause while I try to remember why I like him. I remember his eyelashes and his cinnamon scent. Which doesn’t do me much good as neither can be transmitted through the phone.)
    CJ: I guess I’ve run out of things to say. Bye.
    Me: Okay, have fun at Black Christmas. Bye!
    Oh, well, it was good to hear his voice, anyway. Though even that was touch-and-go until I figured out that I needed to press my ear really close to the receiver.
    At least I have Jeremy’s joke to keep me going. HA! TYPO!
    I feel better already. Guess I’ll go see what the typo wanted.

Comments:
    Logged in at 7:22 PM, PST
    Lynn: I’m glad you’re feeling a little better. And it’s totally fine that you posted your IM convo with Jeremy. I’m moving on. Looking to try new things. Maybe a younger man next. We’ll see . . .
    About Vivvy . . . Maybe she’s just nervous and that’s why she’s saying all the wrong things.
    Â 
7:54 PM, PST
    Maybe she is nervous. I guess life as a typo will do that to ya.
    Anyway, the Typo wanted to know if I wanted to meet “everyone” to go ice skating later tonight. And by “everyone” she means Pia, Claudia, and Jackson, her boyfriend.
    I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE THE POOR BOY WHO CALLS VIVVY SIOBHAN TYPO HIS GIRLFRIEND.
    Â 
10:53 PM, PST
    Once upon a time there was a girl. And when that girl turned thirteen, she got her period. As if that wasn’t traumatizing enough, the girl used tampons and made the mistake of following the instructions that come inside the box. The ones that say, “Use a mirror to guide you.” The girl was so shocked by what she saw she had to write about it on her secret blog—the one meant exclusively for her friends Pia and Claudia. The only way to describe what she saw was to compare it to the pink and wrinkly face of their former school librarian, Mervis.
    One day, everyone in her school found out about this comparison and decided it would be funny to call the girl “Mervis” as a joke. But jokes aren’t funny to the person who’s at the butt of them. In fact, they are painful and humiliating. So the girl was very sad until the Mervis-calling stopped. This made the girl very happy.
    Until someone called her Mervis once more. And the girl had to go through the pain and humiliation all over again.
    The end.
    Sad story—isn’t it? And the saddest part of all? It’s not a story. It’s true.
    When I first got to Bay City Ice Skating Rink, Pia and Claudia were the only two people there. I got on my skates, and the three of us went out on the ice and pretended we were in Ice Capades like we always do. Pia and Claudia pretended to be ice dancers because they’re pretty good skaters, and I pretended to be a clown because I’m not that good and the clowns fall a lot.
    One time I fell, and Pia and Claudia each grabbed an arm to help me up. Then we skated for a while with our arms linked, and I could tell they had something they wanted to say.
    So I decided to make it easier on them.
    â€œMay I help you, young ladies?” I asked.
    â€œMaybe it wasn’t the best idea to surprise you with Vivvy. Maybe we should have prepared you instead,” Pia said.
    â€œEspecially since she can take some getting used to,” Claudia added.
    â€œYou know that about her?” I asked.
    â€œTotally,” said Pia.
    Hearing this made me feel a lot better. In fact, I wasn’t even feeling angry at her anymore. Maybe because it was a sign that Pia and Claudia didn’t necessarily like her better than me. Since I was feeling better about my friendship with Pia and Claudia, I decided I would talk to them about CJ.
    â€œI need to tell you guys something before she gets here,” I began. “I’m starting to wonder about CJ. I mean, his weirdness