us through it, either, so how were you supposed to know what was normal or abnormal?” Leigha spoke as if she were talking to herself.
Somewhere in the back of Mara’s mind, she sensed something was off about her relationship with Brock. Her experience with men was almost non-existent before him; she repressed it, not wanting to bring it out into the light and face it. They didn’t know the things he said to her during sex behind closed doors. At that point, she wasn’t about to add to the disgraced picture. They hung on to her for dear life, creating a circle around her in a veil of protection. Leigha rubbed Mara’s back, telling her over and over again it would be all right and she could get therapy back home. There was nothing left in her tank. She was drained and exhaustion set in quickly.
“I think I want to go to bed right now. We can talk more tomorrow. I’m overwhelmed with all of this and need to process it. If I thought I was broken before, I’m really broken now.” She clung to her life rafts and couldn’t imagine her life without them, two of the strongest, most intelligent and caring women she had ever known. She hoped some of their strength would rub off on her.
Her emotions were raw and burned, as if exposed to the sun for too long. Abuse? Punishment? Was that what her marriage to Brock had been? He was never particularly affectionate, more cold and distant. But why? Did he ever love her? She’d thought so in the beginning. Did he just want the money? He did spend a good amount of it, until he started making a lot of his own with the investment firm. Looking back on it, that was when he began to distance himself from Mara.
Opening this Pandora’s Box gave way to more questions than answers. She was exasperated knowing she would never get answers. However, the light at the end of this tunnel suggested that Brock might be the problem instead of her. She knew for sure she’d never had the connection to Brock that she already had to Mac. Her feelings for her husband lacked those fluttering wings of excitement in her chest and the sensuality that coursed through her body at the sight of Mac.
“You better get some sleep, because you have a hot date with a hot guy. I think it’s the perfect distraction for you, Mar.” Raquelle lived for the next conquest. The time had come for Mara to take her sister’s cue and live a little. She was curious to find out about Mac and where he would lead her. She needed a reprieve from her new reality check that made her feel unsteady.
Chapter 6
Mara woke up the next morning with a massive hangover. She didn’t have much to drink, but the emotional semi that had run her over had left its mark.
Oh, that’s right, ...my late husband.
Even dead, he managed to reach out and beat her down emotionally. But she was alive, trying to fight the ghost of him. The weight lifted off her shoulders as she finally shared her ‘behind closed doors’ story with her sisters. They gave her love, support and non-judgment. The relief in telling her story helped to lift a heavy blanket of shame. Breaking down her confines and building herself back up again to prove she was stronger than he gave her credit for. Being six feet under he could do a lot less damage. He deserved his new bed.
God, how can I be thinking like this? Have I snapped, or is this what it feels like when you’ve just had enough?
She sat on the edge of the bed and heard her sisters’ muffled voices behind the closed bedroom door. Her core was an empty vessel, floating on the rough sea of life. She craved peace, quiet and a hot shower.
Her body moved as if walking underwater toward the luxury bathroom. Tastefully done in white marble with salmon-colored lines running through it, the clear, shell-shaped washbasins perched atop of a white wood cabinet under brushed nickel faucets. The middle of the floor showed a basket-weave pattern of white marble with pink marble inlays, all very high-end. Her