Free The Starter Boyfriend by Tina Ferraro Page A

was still out. “Sure, what’s up?”
    “Here’s the thing: I want to give Adam some of what you’re giving Randy on Friday night.”
    My ceiling above me went wavy before my eyes. “And that would be...”
    “A free tux.”
    Okay, far better than what I thought she was implying, but still totally bogus. “Randy’s not getting his tux for free.”
    “That’s not what Jacy’s saying.”
    “ Oh , like she would know?” I still didn’t even know who she was.
    “She’s telling everyone that the only reason she’s letting him go with you is a free tux. Since his dad’s between jobs and she feels sorry for him.”
    “Wow,” I said, barely knowing where to begin. I burrowed the back of my head deeper into my pillow. “Okay, the out-of-work thing sucks.” And it might explain why Mrs. Schiff had been totally manic about the coupon—or manic to begin with. “He’s just getting the standard school discount, nothing more. And then about Jacy letting him go with me—”
    “Oh, don’t get too heated up over that,” she said and let out a short laugh. “I might have heard that a little bit wrong.”
    It was my turn to go quiet.
    “I mean, she didn’t exactly say it. She is telling everyone he’s a big jerk and his family’s, like, poor now. And she’s not drinking Hatorade over the two of you going together, so it just figures it’s because you’re doing him a favor she approves of.”
    Another explanation still made more sense: that Jacy didn’t care about me because I basically didn’t exist..
    “And the thing is,” she went on, “I know money’s tight with Adam, too, saving for his competition and everything. I just know he’d look totally buffalicious in a tux.” She let out a noise that was combo exhale/feline growl. “How about we work out a deal where, like, I pay for it, and you just tell him it’s free?”
    My face went all lemon drop sour. “No way. My boss would never go for it.”
    “You wouldn’t have to tell him.”
    “Yeah, Saffron, I would. We keep records of everything.”
    “Okay,” she murmured, although I was pretty sure it wasn’t. “So, how’s this? You talk to Adam. About the tuxes, how I’d love it if he wore one, and that silly little discount coupon. And if you can talk him into renting one—it’s not really all that much, right?—I’ll match the full cost. To you, under the table.”
    Wait, what? I wasn’t desperate for money.
    Oh, yeah. I’d told Phillip I was saving for St. Ansgar’s, and of course, told Flea the same. Because I could hardly admit I worked at Tux Everlasting to avoid her and the rest of my friends’ drinking. And it was no secret that my teammates talked.
    This was one misunderstanding that could not be cleared up. I did what any self-respecting liar would do: I lied some more.
    “Sounds good, Saffron. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Maybe even get him to go with one of the designer labels, with a microfiber dress shirt and fourteen carat gold cufflinks. The real pricey stuff. Since you’re matching his bill, of course. And I,” I said and swallowed hard, “need the money for college.”
    “Go crazy, babycakes. Just make sure the pants are real tight across his butt. Just not too tight or I won’t be able to get them off him after the dance.”
    A whole bunch of initials sprung to mind, like T.M.I. and O.M.G., but I covered them with a laugh and a “T.T.Y.L.”
    After hanging up, I lay there on my bed, like dead weight. I knew I’d never try to collect with her on our so-called deal, but also that I’d be following through with Adam. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I almost couldn’t wait to let Adam know just how deep his girlfriend-to-be’s pockets were when it came to him, and the lengths she was willing to go to own him, body and soul.
    In fact, I suddenly had an idea about to take my performance up a notch, to “show” Saffron how I was trying my best, while rubbing Adam’s nose in what a total train