me
did you enter her right as
i asked the almighty
to grant you all you wanted
did you find it in her
did you come crawling out of her
with what you couldnât in me
what draws you to her
tell me what you like
so i can practice
your absence is a missing limb
questions
there is a list of questions
i want to ask but never will
there is a list of questions
i go through in my head
every time iâm alone
and my mind canât stop itself from searching for you
there is a list of questions i want to ask
so if youâre listening somewhere
here i am asking them
what do you think happens
to the love thatâs left behind
when two lovers leave
how blue do you think it gets
before it passes away
does it pass away
or does it still exist somewhere
waiting for us to come back
when we lied to ourselves by
calling this unconditional and left
which one of us hurt more
i shattered into a million little pieces
and those pieces shattered into a million more
crumbled into dust till
there was nothing left of me but the silence
tell me how love
how did the grieving feel for you
how did the mourning hurt
how did you peel your eyes open after every blink
knowing iâd never be there staring back
it must be hard to live with what ifs
there must always be this constant dull aching
in the pit of your stomach
trust me
i feel it too
how in the world did we get here
how did we live through it
and how are we still living
how many months did it take
before you stopped thinking of me
or are you still thinking of me
cause if you are
then maybe i am too
thinking of you
thinking of me
with me
in me
around me
everywhere
you and me and us
do you still touch yourself to thoughts of me
do you still imagine my naked naked tiny tiny body
pressed into yours
do you still imagine the curve of my spine and
how you wanted to rip it out of me
cause the way it dipped into my
perfectly rounded bottom
drove you crazy
baby
sugar baby
sweet baby
ever since we left
how many times did you pretend
it was my hand stroking you
how many times did you search for me in your fantasies
and end up crying instead of coming
donât you lie to me
i can tell when youâre lying
cause thereâs always that little bit of
arrogance in your response
are you angry with me
are you okay
and would you tell me if youâre not
and if we ever see each other again
do you think youâd reach out and hold me
like you said you would
the last time we spoke and
you talked of the next time we would
or do you think weâd just look
shake in our skin as we pine to
absorb as much as we can of each other
cause by this time weâve probably got
someone else waiting at home
we were good together werenât we
and is it wrong that iâm asking you these questions
tell me love
that you have been
looking for these answers too
you call to tell me you miss me
i turn to face the front door of the house
waiting for a knock
days later you call to say you need me
but still arenât here
the dandelions on the lawn
are rolling their eyes in disappointment
the grass has declared you yesterdayâs news
what do i care
if you love me
or miss me
or need me
when you arenât doing anything about it
if iâm not the love of your life
iâll be the greatest loss instead
where do we go from here my love
when itâs over and iâm standing between us
whose side do i run to
when every nerve in my body is pulsing for you
when my mouth waters at the thought
when you are pulling me in just by standing there
how do i turn around and choose myself
day by day i realize
everything i miss about you
was never there in the first place
- the person i fell in love with was a mirage
they leave
and act like it never happened
they come back
and act like they never left
- ghosts
i tried to find it
but there was no answer
at the end of the last conversation
-