Free Dark Illusion by Christine Feehan Page B

could have been treated as cruelly as the vampire had treated the one he’d captured and kept for himself.
    You are more than worthy of this man who claims you. Was it trading one prison for another? Was that how Elisabeta saw it? That was how Julija saw it for both of them. Maybe I can steal you away somewhere they can’t find us until we sort things out and have the chance to decide our own fates. She half joked, half made the offer.
    That is a wonderful thing to offer me, Julija, but I cannot accept. Elisabeta took her seriously. I will honor my commitment to him once he knows that I have been changed for all time and we might not fit. He would feel responsible for me once he ties us together, so I hope to get the chance to speak before he does so.
    Just talk to him as soon as you surface.
    Elisabeta gasped, clearly horrified. I cannot speak to him, not without permission.
    Julija went very still, fighting down a surge of anger. What do you mean? You have to wait for permission to speak before you can talk to a lifemate? Isai didn’t tell me that.
    Instantly Julija had the overwhelming impression of shame. Her heart sank. She pressed her fingers to her eyes, wishing the pounding headache would go away.
    I’m sorry. It was too late to take back the blunder and Julija inwardly cursed herself for her carelessness. Elisabeta had spent centuries asking permission to speak. She was so conditioned that by now, that law was soingrained in her that she probably couldn’t speak without permission. All along, Julija had thought she was the only one who would understand Elisabeta’s special needs, but she was already failing her.
    There is no need to be sorry. I have told you, and it is true. I am much altered. I believe when my lifemate becomes aware I cannot even think for myself, he will free me. Now her voice shook with terror. I do not want him to despise me for being the way I am, and yet I must confess to him. He has waited centuries to find me. Gone through so much, and I have nothing of value to give him. I am ashamed and feel sorrow for him.
    Elisabeta took on such a burden, despising who she was and what she’d become because she didn’t feel she had anything to give her lifemate, while Julija had turned hers down. She was beginning to feel the urgent need to see Isai. To hear his voice. To touch his mind.
    Don’t, Elisabeta. Don’t think that of yourself.
    It is the truth. I cannot blame him if he turns me away, but without someone to guide me, I do not know what I will do.
    Julija swallowed hard. I will come to you.
    You must sort out your life, Elisabeta said. You are willing to sacrifice yourself for me, but not for your lifemate. Do you have any idea why?
    Julija abruptly pulled out of Elisabeta’s mind, slamming the door hard on any memories that tried to creep in. She would not go there. She would not let her past define her as Elisabeta was doing. She sank down, back to the rock, knees to her chest, looking down at the scorch marks on the granite surface. Who was she kidding? Not Elisabeta, and not herself. She was already allowing the past to define her. No one could escape their past.
    Elisabeta was forever shaped into a submissive woman who needed someone to gently guide her back to a place where she could feel strong and believe in herself again. Julija needed . . . what? Someone. Someone had come along and she’d rejected him. Not only had she rejected him, she’d deliberately insulted him and the Carpathian culture.
    There was no sound, but she knew Isai was there, almost as though by thinking of him, she had conjured him up. When she opened her eyes, he was crouched beside her, looking utterly male, all muscle and hard lines,totally at odds with the way his finger traced a line down her cheek. She realized she was crying and instantly felt vulnerable.
    She lifted her gaze to his and the impact of his sapphire eyes caught her right in the stomach like a hard blow.
    “Why the tears?”
    She