Free Brother Cadfael 09: Dead Man's Ransom by Ellis Peters Page B

her father dead, one obstacle out of the way from between them, and himself still a prisoner, unransomed. Her prisoner, for as long as might be, long enough to work the needful miracle, break one tie and make another possible, which looked all too far out of reach now.
    'When he comes back,' she said, her cold brow against his cheek,'then you will have to go. How shall we bear it!'
    'Don't I know it! I think of nothing else. It will all be vain, and I shall never see you again. I won't, I can't accept that. There must be a way...'
    'If you go,' she said, 'I shall die.'
    'But I must go, we both know it. How else can I even do this one thing for you, to buy your father back?'
    But neither could he bear the pain of it. If he let her go now he was for ever lost, there would be no other to take her place. The little dark creature in Wales, so faded from his mind he could hardly recall her face, she was nothing, she had no claim on him. Rather a hermit's life, if he could not have Melicent.
    'Do you not want him back?'
    'Yes!' she said vehemently, torn and shivering, and at once took it back again: 'No! Not if I must lose you! Oh, God, do I know what I want? I want both you and him, but you most! I do love my father, but as a father. I must love him, love is due between us, but... Oh, Elis, I hardly know him, he never came near enough to be loved. Always duty and affairs taking him away, and my mother and I lonely, and then my mother dead... He was never unkind, always careful of me, but always a long way off. It is a kind of love, but not like this... not as I love you! It's no fair exchange...' She did not say: 'Now if he had died...' but it was there stark at the back of her mind, horrifying her. If they had failed to find him, or found him dead, she would have wept for him, yes, but her stepmother would not have cared too much where she chose to marry. What would have mattered most to Sybilla was that her son should inherit all, and her husband's daughter be content with a modest dowry. And so she would have been content, yes, with none.
    'But it must not be an end!' vowed Elis fiercely. 'Why should we submit to it? I won't give you up, I can't, I won't part from you.'
    'Oh, foolish!' she said, her tears gushing against his cheek, 'The escort that brings him home will take you away. There's a bargain struck, and no choice but to keep it. You must go, and I must stay, and that will be the end. Oh, if he need never reach here...' Her own voice uttering such things terrified her, she buried her lips in the hollow of his shoulder to smother the unforgivable words.
    'No, but listen to me, my heart, my dear! Why should I not go to him and offer for you? Why should he not give me fair hearing? I'm born princely, I have lands, I'm his equal, why should he refuse to let me have you? I can endow you well, and there's no man could ever love you more.' He had never told her, as he had so lightheartedly told Brother Cadfael, of the girl in Wales, betrothed to him from childhood. But that agreement had been made over their heads, by consent of others, and with patience and goodwill it could be honourably dissolved by the consent of all. Such a reversal might be a rarity in Gwynedd, but it was not unheard of. He had done no wrong to Cristina, it was not too late to withdraw.
    'Sweet fool innocent!' she said, between laughter and rage. 'You do not know him! Every manor he holds is a border manor, he has had to sweat and fight for them many a time. Can you not see that after the empress, his enemy is Wales? And he as good a hater as ever was born! He would as soon marry his daughter to a blind leper in St Giles as to a Welshman, if he were the prince of Gwynedd himself. Never go near him, you will but harden him, and he'll rend you. Oh, trust me, there's no hope there.'
    'Yet I will not let you go,' vowed Elis into the cloud of her pale hair, that stirred and stroked against his face with a life of its own, in nervous, feathery caresses.