in the
clawing need in his voice? “I know. I"m not—” He stopped.
“It"s a struggle.” Ally pressed. Rich cocoa scents filled
the air, escaping the kitchen the way Everett couldn"t. “It"s
always a struggle, but you"re strong enough—”
Everett"s sudden bitter laugh made Alex flinch and his
mother go quiet.
“You think I don"t know that?” He was speaking loud
enough that his siblings, if more than Robert were present,
had to hear him. “I"ve been strong my entire life. My entire…
I"m not sure what a help it is, but I know that. You think I"m
afraid of work ?”
Alex focused on the cold around him, the sting at his
cheeks, the whispers of his breath vanishing with every hard
push of his chest. He tossed his head. Ally was too smart for
that. She had to know Everett was not the reason Everett
was still alone.
“I"m not afraid. Not of that.” Everett might have been
born a crusader, but he was no match for his mother.
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“Then what is it? I know, I know, I"m being pushy, but I
want you to be happy. You aren"t seeing anyone, and I can"t
remember the last time you even mentioned anyone in your
life that wasn"t about work.”
“It was over a year ago, that I recall.” Robert spoke up
again, though he was choosing to be as big of a dick now as
his football buddies had once been. Maybe he wasn"t,
perhaps he had some other point in speaking, or just
thought it was time Everett got a lecture the way the others
did, but Alex missed it by not being able to see anyone"s face.
But if he"d been there, walked in right now, he was aware
that this would never have been said in front of him.
Because he wasn"t family, or because he could break again,
or because of what it might do to Everett.
“A year, Everett.” He could hear his own voice, though,
in one of the adult moments between them without his
family around, in a conversation for the two of them alone. A
year, and Everett hadn"t….
Everett"s loud sigh broke into his thoughts.
“And I"m not getting any younger, I know. What am I
waiting for? Yes, Mom, I"ve heard it before.” But he didn"t
sound angry. Everett let out another breath, and it was tired
more than anything else, as though his head was down, and
his hands on the counter were the only things keeping him
on his feet.
“You make it sound so easy,” he added, “as though I
haven"t tried. As though my arms couldn"t get more open
or—”
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A Wealth of Unsaid Words • R. Cooper
Alex was buffeted on all sides by the children as they
returned. They pounded through the door and into the
kitchen, shoving him to the side when he was in their way,
wanting their damn cocoa and to kick off their boots. He
wouldn"t have heard Everett"s last words if he had been
standing next to him. Their screaming continued for a few
moments, excited chatter and exclamations over their mugs
and marshmallows and coats that wouldn"t come off, and
then with a noise like a stampede they must have rushed
back out of the kitchen.
They only gave Everett a few moments of peace; then
Ally was back at him, firing away with gentle concern and
guilt.
“I never said it was easy. I only want—”
“Yeah, well I want a lot of things, too, Mom.” Despair
from Everett was not right. Alex sucked in a breath and put
his hand to the door. Another hand landed on top of his. He
jumped and turned and saw George.
George stared back at him, a measuring, hard stare, but
didn"t open the door. Alex studied him, though his heart rate
didn"t slow down at all, and waited, but George didn"t say a
word. His face was speaking for him, saying things about
bootstraps that had been harsh and wrong post-suicide
attempt, but were suddenly valid now, with Everett once
again in pain because of Alex.
So Alex nodded before quickly turning away to open the
door and step inside.
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A Wealth of Unsaid Words • R. Cooper
He took some time to