Free Finding My Way by Heidi McLaughlin

don’t want to be away from her. I won’t be able to handle it. Right now, she’s the only person keeping me grounded.
    Once she’s dressed, I finally move. Allowing my eyes to take in every one of her moves is bad news for me. I have to turn away from her, not so she can’t see what she does to me, but so she won’t ask to take care of me. We can pick this up later. Right now I want to take her out. Treat her right. Aside from homecoming, we haven’t been out on a date in a while. Football takes up so much of my time that it limits what I’m allowed to do, but not tonight. Tonight I’m going to hang out with my friends. Maybe catch a movie, have some dinner and just relax. There will be no need to talk about the future, football or what’s looming in front of us… the high school championship game.
    As soon as my clothes are on, Josie and I are out the door and on our way to meet Mason and Katelyn at Deb’s. It’s an old diner that my parents hate and will probably ream me out for even stepping foot in, but the food is good and she doesn’t skimp on quantity. It’s the perfect place for growing men like Mason and myself.
    When Josie and I walk in, Deb waves and motions to the booth where Katelyn and Mason are huddled in the corner. Sometimes, when I look at them, I think something’s up. Like they’re hiding something. If they are, I’m sure they’d tell us though, so I really need to stop letting my imagination run wild. I have no doubt they think the same thing about Josie and me.
    Deb takes our order as soon as we sit down. We’ve been here so many times we have the menu memorized. My girl is tucked into my side with my arm resting on her shoulder. This feels good. It feels right. If I can stay like this forever, I’d have no worries.
    “What are you both giggling about?” I ask, breaking up Katelyn and Mason’s interactions.
    “Nothing,” he replies, as he kisses her on her forehead. “We’ve just been planning the future.” I roll my eyes and pick up the glass of water in front of me. The future is the last thing I want to talk about.
    “Oh, I love the future talk. Tell me, what are we doing?” Josie asks.
    Always ‘we’ never just ‘them’. We’re the foursome that’s destined to be together for the rest of our lives. It shouldn’t matter to me, but a little separation in life isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It allows us to grow, even though I know it’s not what I want. They’re my family. This is where I want to be.
    “Well we were just thinking that it’d be nice if the guys got accepted to the same school and we could all go together,” Katelyn says. I agree with her, I’d love it. I’d give anything to continue to play with Mason for another four years. With me at the helm and the right blocking, we’d be unstoppable.
    “Oh we could have a double wedding,” Josie adds. I almost choke on my water and have to try to hold in my coughing attack. I know I said I was going to marry her… someday, but I never said anything about planning a wedding.
    “A football wedding is a must,” Mason adds. I shake my head and wonder what goes through his mind. He’s so whipped it’s not even funny. I know I am too, but I’m not about to start talking weddings and shit and I definitely don’t want a football themed wedding. I want to see my girl have the fairytale wedding she deserves.
    “Speaking of football,” Mason starts. “We have one game left Westbury, and I need one hundred yards. I’m going to get it, right? I mean I’m getting some decent looks and all, but I think that record just sets the bar a little higher…” I zone him out. Because the pressure of everyone’s expectations resting on my shoulders that I’ve been feeling every day, where my head is about to explode, is now back. I want one night with my friends where the word football isn’t discussed. I want one night where I can just be Liam, boyfriend to Josie and best friend to Mason, instead of Liam,