quo. “I'm not going anywhere either,” he said, not sure if he meant it as a warning of how things would always be or a promise of how they could alter. He couldn't change who he was.
Or could he? Hadn't he already?
“Dr. Novia? Oh God, there you are.” An intern, spattered with the effluvia one inevitably got spattered with working the ER, clattered down the hall in a beeline toward them, her eyes too wide and the classic new-kid panic etching white lines on her face. “There's a situation—”
“Calm down. Breathe. I'm on it.” Zane took her by the shoulder to steady her. “Right behind you. Okay?”
Eli had noticed before how Zane was hands-on with everyone. The reminder at this present time helped and allowed him to give Zane a gentle push, just like he would have—before. “I think that's your cue.”
“Duty calls,” Zane agreed. He hesitated only long enough to give Eli a look that felt oddly just like a kiss, and a grin. “It's funny, you know?”
“What is?”
Zane shrugged. “Things keep slipping out of my hands. Never mind. Rain check for now. We'll get back to this later. Deal?”
Eli couldn't say no to him. “Deal.”
The kiss in Zane's gaze grew hotter, almost making Eli blush. “I'm counting on it.”
Zane made good his escape, his easy lope keeping pace with the frantic intern. Eli stayed put and watched him go. He propped his elbow on the counter, scrubbed his hand over his face, and shook his head. If he didn't want this so much, he'd reconsider. What was done, was done. And he didn't regret it.
He didn't have a clue how to handle it, but he guessed that was part of the journey.
Eli looped his stethoscope around his neck, secured his coffee, and started walking. He'd come in early as per his usual when he had a lot on his mind. Time still before he started his rounds, time he'd planned on using in the hospital library. A doctor, especially someone barely newer to the field than that poor intern, couldn't research enough if he wanted to keep up with the pack.
Thing was, at this juncture Eli had the feeling there were other things he needed to concentrate on more. Like last night.
Eli wanted to stop, close his eyes, and remember. He didn't, though that didn't stop his memories from playing themselves out in Technicolor flashes deep in his head. Who knew it could be that good? Holding a cock wasn't what he'd ever figured would flip his switch. Hammer on his switch.
Normally, coming before the game had even started would put a damper on things. No pun intended. This time Eli couldn't say he was too sorry. Any further and—hell. Who knew how bad it could have been?
Handjobs, those might not be too hard to figure out. Blowjobs? Christ. Eli didn't have a fucking clue except for vague notions about not using teeth.
But how did you manage not to do that? Teeth were there, right next to a man's lips, and from what he'd gauged, Zane wasn't exactly small. Eli doubted he could fit that into his mouth, period—and whoa, that thought made Eli stumble half a step.
Give a blowjob? This was never going to stop being bizarre. Maybe even more so because, despite the rush of alarm, the rush of desire was equally strong.
Eli waited for the momentary wave of shock to pass before he walked on, reasonably proud of how he wasn't letting any of this maelstrom show on the surface. He hoped.
What he could use right now, really use, was someone's advice, and wasn't that a hell of a kicker? Eli considered reading up on it. He'd gotten damn good at cracking the books in recent years. Somehow, though, that didn't seem quite right. He knew from experience that he could memorize the procedure for, say, setting femoral swans, but when a doctor had his hands on living flesh and someone was counting on him…whole different ballgame.
Who could he talk to, though? Diana? Eli snorted. Diana would never let him hear the end of