Free Fleet of the Damned by Chris Bunch; Allan Cole

with those nice people. They made me stay and filled me right up with all I could eat and drink." He snorted through his increasingly reddening nose. " 'Course, they didn't have to twist my arm much."
    Mahoney felt the room relax. A moment later it was all a-babble again. The bartender even bought him the next shot. Mahoney sipped at it and peered about the bar, just one friendly face looking for another.
    A well-dressed, overstuffed man strolled over to him, carrying his drink. He sat down beside Mahoney.
    "You look like you might be in sales," the man said.
    Mahoney laughed. "Hell, does it change a fellow that quick? Farmed two-thirds of my life. Now I'm into sales. Sorta."
    "What do you mean by sorta?"
    Mahoney instantly warmed to the man. He began dragging out circulars and brochures.
    "Fertilizer plants is my game," he said. "Look at these boys. Small, cheap, and you get an output for anything from a kitchen garden to a big sucker of a farm."
    The man seemed genuinely interested. "Say, maybe we could use something like that."
    Mahoney peered at him through his old man's bushy eyebrows. "No offense, but you don't seem the farmin' type."
    "No offense taken," the man said. "I'm into hardware. Got thirty-two stores and growing."
    "Say, you are a find. Let me tell you about these little guys." And Mahoney went into what he called his dancing-bear act. It took many drinks and the good part of an hour. Other men joined the conversation. And soon Mahoney was handing out bottles of his "calling card."
    By now his mission had taken him to eleven or more Fringe World planets in nearly that many systems. He had his cover story fine-tuned. Now he was winding up on the Empire's capital world for the Fringe System: Cavite.
    Mahoney was passing himself off as an elderly farmer who had spent most of his life tending a large, rich spread on one of the key Imperial agricultural systems. He was also a habitual tinkerer, constantly inventing little devices to solve problems that irritated him.
    Fertilizer was one of his big bugaboos. Mahoney could go on for hours about the rotten quality and expense of the average fertilizer—and he frequently did, to the dismay of casual dinner guests. Anyway, Mahoney the farmer had invented the dandy little fertilizer plant, then put his own money up to found a small company.
    Presently, he was acting as his own advance man, touring agricultural areas to brag about his wares. The fact that he wasn't asking for any money out front but was merely asking people if one of his salesmen could visit in a month or so eased the suspicions of even the overly hostile settlers of the Fringe Worlds.
    Mahoney also thought his homemade cider was a nice touch, as was his old man's chatter, with his knowledge of farming trivia and the ability to bore just about anyone. His only regret was the snort he had adopted to go with the act. Now he couldn't stop, and he was wondering if he would ever be able to cure himself of the self-made habit. He was also bemoaning the fact that his constant snorting was turning his nose bright red.
    "Sounds great to me," the hardware man said. "Government give you any trouble in the licensing?"
    Mahoney snorted a particularly snotty blast. "Licenses? Government? What kind of fool you think I am? Clot, dealt with the damned government all my life. Do everything they can to wreck a farm, if you let them."
    There were angry mutters of agreement from the gathered farmers.
    "Besides, I only got maybe thirty years or more in me. Time I got through those licensing butt bungs, I'd be long dead."
    The logic was ancient and irrefutable.
    "What about shipping? They givin' you any trouble about that?"
    "Well, I ain't shippin' just yet. Right now, I'm gettin' to know people, show off my plants. Why? You think I'll have any trouble in these parts?"
    The hardware man exploded. "Clottin' right! I got orders stacked all over the place. Cash orders. And with all this business of the Tahn going on, I'm about