Free Unbroken by Sienna Valentine

wanted with nothing holding him back.
     
    When it comes time to stick your neck out emotionally, you run away scared.
     
    He let out a deep breath, trying to release some of the tension he was feeling as he thought about those words.  Amber's interpretation of the way he lived his life was accurate.  He had no problem with physical pain, but he really was trying to shelter himself from feeling anything emotionally.   With physical pain you could figure out the cause and heal it.  You could often fight back.  Emotional pain stayed with you. 
     
    Just get out!   He could still hear his mother's voice, as if she were right there beside him.
     
    Amber was right in another way, too.  He was living in the shadow of his past, unable to get on with his life.  She was offering him a lifeline, trying to pull him in from an ocean of loneliness and he was throwing it back, telling her to let him drown. 
     
    Sounds of a crowd pulled his attention back and he realized he'd already arrived at the fight.  The little parking lot behind the abandoned warehouse where they were fighting tonight was packed, and he saw Randy smile as soon as he saw Joel pushing his way through.
     
    Randy introduced the fighters to the crowd a few minutes later as Joel pulled off his shirt.  His opponent was a lean young black man who seemed like he couldn't be much older than 20, if that.  He looked fresh, his body untouched and undamaged.  To Joel, that meant that he was either very good or very new to this.  Given his age, he guessed the latter.
     
    His name was Tyrell, and according to Randy's introduction this was only his second fight but he had won the first one very quickly.  When Randy announced Joel, he made particular mention of how he had lost his last fight, and hadn't fought in a couple of weeks but was trying to make his comeback. 
     
    Randy then told everyone that the fight would begin in 15 minutes and betting was now open.  He walked around, collecting wagers as one of his employees helped by recording each one for later payouts.
     
    Joel watched Tyrell.  The young man was bouncing around, full of nervous energy.  Whenever he caught Joel's eye, he would try to stare him down.  Joel remembered acting similarly when he was just getting started.
     
    "Joel?"
     
    He turned and saw a thin bald man beckon him from the sidelines.  He looked familiar but he couldn't quite place him.  He still had a few minutes before the fight so he walked over.
     
    "Glad to see you're healed up after the tournament at Golden Dragon," the man said.  "I was looking forward to your fight with Carlos, a lot of people were disappointed that it didn't happen."
     
    "No one more than me," Joel said.  He must have recognized this guy from the crowd that night.
     
    "You think you could have taken him?"
     
    "I think he was lucky we didn't get to find out," Joel said.  He still regretted not being able to slam his fists into the big Hispanic's face a few times.  Even if Joel lost the match in the end, that would have at least left him satisfied.
     
    The bald man just nodded, his lips pursed as if imagining how the fight would have gone.  "Well, good luck tonight."
     
    Joel thanked him and returned to the center just as Randy was announcing that the match was about to begin.  He wasn't thrilled about being recognized, but he figured it was unlikely anyone from Rock House would be here.  Shawn spoke out against these types of fights enough that most of the fighters would stay clear of them.  They'd have almost as much to lose by admitting they were here as Joel would.
     
    The match started and Tyrell rushed Joel immediately, his nervous energy propelling him like a ball of fire to start the match.  Joel sidestepped easily and swung his fist around to crash into the black man's midsection.  He felt the bones of his hand pound against Tyrell's ribs with a satisfying thunk as adrenaline started to course through him.
     
    Tyrell winced