Free Vampires Need Not...Apply? by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

weak.”
    Idiot.
“Kinich, I don’t care if we are not blood—none of us are—but you will always be my brother, and I’m proud to call you so. This will all pass, I promise. Just have… patience.”
    She wanted to say
faith
, but not even she had that.
    “See you in the morning, brother.”
    Kinich didn’t say a word as she left.
Poor guy…
    Ixtab reached for the elevator call button, but the doors pinged and out stepped Antonio. “Christ!” She jumped out of the way. “Watch where the hell you’re going.”
    Antonio, who wore stylish sunglasses, a thick off-white sweater, and soft, worn jeans, looked like a giant, warm slice of man heaven. She knew without a doubt that his sturdy frame didn’t have an ounce of fat and his height, though not as tall as her brothers, was well above six feet. Somewhere near the six-and-a-half range perhaps. Who cared? All that mattered was Ixtab enjoyed the view from down there in five-foot-eight land. He was all man. All mortal. All delicious.
    Stop that! Remember, he’s just some… player. Some serial defiler of the female heart.
    “Funny,” he said and then started to chuckle.
    “What’s so funny?”
    He chuckled a few more times and caught his breath. “You said, ‘Watch it.’ That’s the funniest damned thing I’ve heard all day.” He tapped his walking cane in front of him to make his point.
    Ixtab growled and then offered him a few choice words in Spanish.
    “Dios mío!”
he said. “It
is
you! The agency you went through to get me that assistant didn’t know anything about you.”
    “Yes. It’s me.” Once again, Ixtab found herself being inundated with unwelcome emotions. Gods, this man was frigging hot.
    Is it getting warm in here? Why do I feel so warm?
“Nice to see you again, but I gotta run.” She poked the call button again.
    “Please. Don’t leave. I only want to speak for a moment about what happened in the hospital.” He stepped in front of the elevator, blocking her from the doors.
    “I can’t,” she said coldly and stepped back.
    Gods, I need to get away from him.
She felt like her body might launch into orbit, combust, and become a second sun.
    Why is it so hot?
She tugged at her collar.
    He frowned and his lips made a hard line. “Why not?”
    Why? Why? Because you’re doing something unholy to my body! Gods… I want to grrrrab you and maul you with my lips. Maybe rip off your pants and have a very deep conversation with that giant penis of yours.
    What? Did you just say you want to talk to his penis?
    Yes. Yes, I did. I need to get the hell out of here!
    “We can’t talk because… I’m a superspy. Remember?” she said.
    “Doubtful. Please. Tell me who you are.” He stepped toward her and reached for her shoulder. She found herself wanting to lean in and let him make contact, but caught herself and jumped back.
    “Shit! Buddy, do you have a death wish or something? Don’t touch me!”
    His expression turned bleak. “Do I disgust you that much?”
    Oh, gods, no. I want to strip you naked, cover you in chocolate sauce, and swap you with a doughnut.
“Yes. People like you always do. So… back off!”
    Gods, that was a mean thing to say, but it worked. He backed away and his expression turned to one of sheer outrage.
    Suddenly, she felt strangely weak. She looked at her hands. Gray. She was filled to the brim with despair, and if she didn’t cleanse quickly, she’d fall into a coma. “Oh, hell…”
    The elevator beeped. She stepped in and sank to her knees. What the hell was happening to her?

Chapter Nueve
    The small sapling of hope blossoming in the depths of Antonio’s soul shriveled up and died a gruesome death on the spot. He’d finally found the mysterious woman from the hospital only to be told he disgusted her.
    Of course, you disgust her,
coño,
you’re nothing but a pathetic useless—
    A loud crash followed by a man’s painful scream startled him. It came from the doorway directly in front of the