Free The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks, Anne Semans

such as hardening of the arteries, can interfere with blood flow into the penis. Diabetes, smoking, pelvic injury, and aging can all reduce the elasticity of the erectile tissues, resulting in blood leaking out of the erection.
    If you have had recurrent episodes in which you couldn’t sustain an erection, the first thing to do is determine whether this failure has physical or psychological causes. All men who are physically capable of having erections have several throughout the course of a night’s sleep, and most wake up with an erection at least one morning a week. If you haven’t woken with an erection in a few weeks, you can try a low-tech diagnostic test by attaching a ring of postage stamps around the base of your flaccid penis before going to bed—check to see if the ring is broken when you awake. Or, a doctor can set you up with a device like a mechanized cock ring, which will measure the quantity and firmness of the erections you have throughout the night.
    If you are having erections while you sleep, presumably your difficulties with erection during waking hours are psychological, not physiological in origin. Maybe you are forcing yourself into sexual situations you don’t want to be in; or your sex life has become oppressively goal-oriented; or you’re experiencing stress that is affecting your sexual responsiveness.
At 27, I assumed I was too young to have to worry about sexual problems, but during a stressful separation and divorce, I found myself unable to get or maintain an erection. This not only was a problem in itself, but it also proved to be somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I got, and the less responsive my body became to sexual stimulation. Then I started deep reflection, and relaxing exercises…this was all the help I needed. While I’m not back to 100 percent, things are definitely “looking up.”
    Consider taking a sabbatical from partner sex; restricting your partner interactions to nondemand touching, such as massage; or adopting a less performance-based approach to genital sex. Many couples have discovered that erections aren’t necessary for pleasurable sexual encounters. You can focus on alternatives to intercourse or experiment with “soft entry” penetration. You’ll find soft entry easiest if you are on top, so that gravity is on your side, and if you clasp the base of your penis to create a cock ring effect. Bear in mind that your penis can be an erotic tool regardless of how firm it is:
My husband has erection problems at times, so we spend more time with creative foreplay and pleasuring each other in a variety of ways, which we both really enjoy when he is not able to enter me in the usual manner. I especially love it when he takes the soft head of his penis and strokes it against my thighs or rubs it against my clit.
    Sex therapy and/or talk therapy can help you address the emotional components that may be complicating your erection difficulties. Even when erectile dysfunction has a physiological cause, it can create intimacy and relationship issues that benefit from open discussion.
    If you do find that there are physiological causes for your erectile dysfunction, you don’t lack for treatment options. Over the years, treatments have included vacuum pumps; injections to produce temporary, involuntary erections; and surgical implants. Viagra is the first oral pill to hit the market, and its convenience (you take it approximately one hour prior to intercourse) and effectiveness (it’s been found to work for seven in ten men, with the exception of diabetics and those recovering from prostate surgery) have led to skyrocketing sales. The active ingredient in Viagra is sildenafil, which aids in relaxing smooth muscle cells, thereby improving blood flow to the penis.
Things have definitely slowed down with age, but Viagra is the best thing since sliced bread! Timing and dependability of my erections started to fade a few