Free At the City's Edge by Marcus Sakey

about Oscar and Diego, their feud
     continuing.
    Then he saw Ronald’s face and realized something much worse had happened.

10. The Good Life
    Jason couldn’t remember ever being so uncomfortable in a place he knew well.
    They’d ordered a couple of pizzas, light sauce and extra cheese for Billy, pepperoni and double giardiniera for him. Sat in
     Michael’s living room and watched the first
Star Wars
movie on DVD. Not the
true
first
Star Wars,
but the one Lucas made later, with the fart jokes and the long-eared alien. Jason felt the man should have left well enough
     alone, but the movie was one of Billy’s favorites, and that was doctor’s orders.
    ‘Shock wears off. Don’t pull at him. Just take him somewhere he feels safe and make sure he gets some rest.’ The doctor, a
     wiry Asian guy not much older than Jason, had written a prescription for Valium, warning not to give more than half a tab.
     Then he’d left Jason alone in the too bright hallway, forced to face the fact that the place Billy would feel most comfortable
     was the last place on earth Jason wanted to be.
    ‘How’s the pizza?’
    ‘S’okay,’ Billy said around a mouthful, eyes on the screen. The familiar surroundings did seem to be helping. Which was something
     of a mixed blessing. The physiological purpose of shock was to help you operate through pain. Right now, he suspected Billy
wasn’t even thinking about what had happened. His mind was protecting itself by screening out the day. But sooner or later,
     he’d have to deal with it.
    So will I,
he thought, and then leaned back on his dead brother’s sofa and forced himself to chew another bite of pizza.
    Later, Jason walked Billy up to bed, feeling like an imposter, like at any moment the curtains would pull aside and Michael
     would step out with an accusatory expression, a look that said
I’m dead because you weren’t there, and by the way, you’re a lousy uncle.
He sat on the edge of the bath and watched Billy brush his teeth. Fought to conceal his animal panic at the thought that
     he was somehow supposed to know all this stuff now. That he had to be responsible. Last night he’d taken home a girl he’d
     just met and screwed her against the wall of his shitbox apartment, her moans hot in his ear as he buried his fear in sensation.
    Today he was supposed to be Daddy?
    In his room, Billy pulled off his clothes and tossed them on the floor, then crawled into bed and pulled the covers to his
     chin, leaving the lamp on. Jason didn’t really know the bedtime protocol – was he supposed to read a story? His nephew looked
     so vulnerable, so tiny, that something in Jason’s chest tugged sideways. He wanted to promise that everything would be all
     right, but he didn’t even know what that meant, so he just stood and stared, taking in the boy’s long lashes, the white spot
     where toothpaste had crusted on his lip. Through that doughy unformedness of children, Jason
could see the beginnings of the man Billy would become. Shoulders just beginning to broaden. Michael’s strong chin – a lot
     of Mikey, actually, in the nose and eyes, too. For a moment Jason felt an odd lightness, like he was untethered to the planet,
     but then the boy’s small fingers curled around his callused hand.
    ‘Would you stay?’ Billy tugged at his hand. ‘Till I fall asleep?’
    ‘Sure thing.’ Jason tried a smile. ‘As long as you want.’ He sat awkwardly, butt on the bed and back against the wall. Reached
     out and tentatively stroked Billy’s hair.
    His nephew let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, scrunching them hard enough to carve little crow’s feet. He wrapped the
     blanket tight and flopped on his side. Through half-closed lips, he mumbled, ‘G’night, Uncle Jason.’ Yawned. ‘I love you.’
    The words hit like blows. Not the declaration of love – Billy was a sensitive kid, said it all the time – but the recognition
     that he was the only one to whom Billy could say that