sometimes—it is easy to forget what we are here for. Having a plan means that when the dust settles, you can remember, “Now what was I doing? Oh yes, I remember. My plan was to….” And off you go again, back on course.
I F YO U D O N ’ T P L A N
YO U R P L A N , I T W I L L
R E M A I N A D R E A M .
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Have a Sense of Humor
How important this is. As we struggle through this life—and it can be a struggle—we need to keep a sense of proportion about it. What we do and what we take seriously can often be so far removed from what it is actually all about that it is laughable. We get bogged down in trivia, lost in irrelevant detail to such an extent that our life can whizz past and we don’t even notice. By letting go of things that really aren’t important, we can put ourselves back on the right track. And the best way to do that is through humor—laughing at ourselves, laughing at our situation, but never laughing at others—they’re just as lost as we are and don’t need to be laughed at.
We get bogged down in things like worrying what the neighbors will think, concerns over stuff we don’t have, or things we haven’t done: “Oh no, I haven’t washed the car for two weeks, and it’s filthy. Next door did theirs yesterday, so it looks like we are really slovenly.” If we ever think we’re getting like that, then we do need to have a laugh about it. Life is for living, enjoying the sunshine, big things—not getting in a terrible state because you dropped some eggs on the supermarket floor.
Laughing at yourself and situations you find yourself in has a double positive effect. First, it diffuses tension and helps regain a sense of proportion. Second, it has real physical as well as mental benefits. Laughter causes the release of endor-phins, which make you feel better as well as give you a better perspective on life.
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This isn’t about telling jokes all the time or cracking witty puns. It’s more being able to see something funny in whatever life throws at us along the way—and there is always some humor in everything. I once came round after being unconscious from a serious car crash. I was in a cubicle in a hospital and in great pain. As I regained consciousness, I let out a couple of choice words to describe my condition and, as I did so, the nurse arrived and opened the curtains only for me to find a nun sat outside.* I was mortified and immediately apologized. She looked at me most gravely, winked, and quietly said, “It’s OK. I’ve said worse myself.”
If you observe any aspect of human behavior, you can see the ridiculousness in all of it. Learn to find the funny side of everything. It’s the best technique for instant stress relief and dissolves anxiety and doubt. Try it.
S E E S O M E T H I N G F U N N Y I N
W H AT E V E R L I F E T H R OW S
AT [ YO U ] A LO N G T H E WAY.
* Nothing to do with me! She was quietly waiting for another nun who was being checked out for a splinter in her finger, I later discovered.
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Choose How You Make Your Bed
Every action you take, every decision you make, everything you do causes an immediate effect on those around you—and on you. And this is the important bit. There is such a thing as instant karma. It is your bed, and you are going to have to lie in it. Your actions will dictate whether in general your life is going to run happily or badly, smoothly or as if the wheels have fallen off. If you are selfish and manipulative, it will rebound on you. If you are generally loving and thoughtful, you will get your just rewards—and not in heaven (or the next life or whatever you believe) but right here, right now.
Trust me. Whatever you do and how you do it will come back to you in spades. This isn’t a threat, merely an observation.
Those who do good, get good. Those who do bad, get bad.
I know we can all point to people who seem to have it made and are still pretty vile. But they don’t sleep at night.
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley