Free Beautifully Broken by Bethany Bazile

to know about her and Liam.
    “I
mean how is a women supposed to feel when a man leaves her naked on her knees,
panting for him.”
    “Wait-What!”
I didn’t mean to scream at her; I didn’t but- what the fuck!
    “There
I was,” she continues getting up and pacing in front of me. “Totally hot in
nothing but my thong, I had him. And when I tell you I had him, I mean I had
him down my throat and it was so delicious. Then he just pulls away, gets dressed
and leaves.”
    I
don’t even hear anything past him being down her throat. The fire at the pit of
my stomach is roaring so loudly.
    “Alice,”
I cut off her storytelling. “I’m sorry but I have an important phone call I
have to make, can we continue this later.”
    “Oh-okay”
she says making her way out the room. I dash into my bathroom and heave up my
entire breakfast. After I’ve thrown up everything I ate the sick feeling in my
stomach remains. I brush my teeth and return to my office throwing myself into
my work. The graphic images replay in my mind over and over until I can’t stand
it anymore. At three I let Alice know I’m leaving. I walk past her with my head
down, not able to stomach looking at her face.
    ********
    Liam
is out on the patio talking on his phone when I arrive. I drop my briefcase and
blazer on the couch making my way towards his room. I grab my duffel bag from
the back of the closet and quickly begin throwing all my belonging in it. I
don’t know how much time I have before he ends his phone call but I need to be
done by then. I rush into the bathroom grabbing my make-up kit and toiletries, zip
up the bag throwing it over my shoulder. Liam sees me trying to make an escape
through the glass doors and rushes in, hands raised to the air in question.
    “Where
the fuck are you going?” he roars pointing the phone at me.
    “You
lied to me. I’m leaving.”
    He
hits end on his phone and tosses it on the kitchen counter. He marches thru the
living room to stand in front of me. “Ok I’ll bite; what did I lie about?”
    I
cross my arms as if to shield my heart. “You told me nothing happened with
Alice. Her wrapping her lips around what’s supposed to be mine is not Nothing! ”
I scream into his face. “Last time I checked that’s called getting head.” His
eyes close as he sighs in defeat. I tilt my head shooting daggers at his
beautiful face waiting for his excuses to start.
    “I
didn’t say nothing happened, I said I didn’t fuck her.” he starts
    “You
fucked her mouth you dick!” I’m so angry I can’t see straight. His face blurs
in front of me, I could hear my own heart beating frantically in my ears. I try
to grasp onto something, anything as my legs give out and darkness overtakes
me.
    When
I wake I’m laying on Liam’s bed with a cool towel on my head. I try to sit up
but he sits on the edge of the bed and pushes my head back into the pillow.
    “I
need to leave Liam.” Pain shots through the back of my head from my straining
movements.
    “You
just passed out I’m not going to let you roam the streets. Did you eat today?”
    “I
threw up the breakfast you made me after my little visit from Alice.”
    He
looks away anxiously biting his lip. “I’m sorry Ella, I don’t want to keep
hurting you.”
    “Then
we should just let go, we’ll never figure out how to make this work, you don’t
trust me and I don’t trust you.”
    “Maybe
you’re right but I can’t let you go. I can’t. I’m probably being selfish but I
need you. When you’re not here I think I smell you and my heart aches to touch
you. I want to trust you Ella. It’s just really hard for me to trust any
women.”
    “I
get that Anna really fucked you up but I’m not your mother. You can’t hold her
sins over my head when I’ve got plenty of my own to carry around.” I can’t stay
as much as my heart wants me to. I’ve never suffered as much pain as I did
today. I let this thing between us go too far. I let myself hope and dream