Free My Notorious Life by Kate Manning

them, —with a swing on the porch and servants all to tend her, and she wears her hair in sausage curls, Mam.
    —Does she then? she asked, with glittering eyes. —And our Joe?
    I did not have the strength to tell her I didn’t have the first knowledge about Joe. —He goes to church regular with the family where he stays. They feed him horehound drops and carry him around like a prize chicken.
    —All I wanted was to have yiz all safe and fed. At least I’ve you back, Axie.
    —Hold on, said Mr. Duffy. —Do you think yer all coming home to mother now?
    —Ah jayz, Michael, this here’s my dear daughter Axie who I pined for.
    —And have you pined for this big cove here, too? Duffy pointed to Charlie.
    My Aunt Bernice and Kevin Duffy now woke and peered over the edge of their sleeping loft and watched us like they was at the cockfights, lying on their stomachs with their heads propped in their hands. —He’s no son of yours, Mary, said Kevin Duffy.
    Charlie scuffed at the floor.
    —Muldoons oughta take him in, I said, surprising myself. —He’s got no last name. Charlie Muldoon’s good as any.
    —Not so fast, Mam said, her eyes on the floor. —I am Mrs. Duffy now.
    —She’s the new Mrs. Duffy, Bernice called down.
    —That makes you the old Mrs. Duffy, Uncle Kevin told her, and the two of them up in their roost laughed big phlegmy cackles.
    Nobody said a word about our father’s sister Aunt Nance who used to be Michael Duffy’s wife. Where was she? And what happened to her baby who would be my little cousin? My mother had her finger to her lips as it dawned on me Nance was gone and Mam shared her bed with the sot Michael Duffy. Now my new stepfather stared as Mam brought out half a loaf of bread from the cupboard and offered it to me and Charlie.
    —Hold on there, said Duffy, eyeing the bread, his hand on her wrist.
    —It’s for our own Axie, so it is, said she, and petted his head. —Oh Michael, they’ve come a long way, so they have. And sure them Aid Society people give them a dollar. Haven’t they done, Axie?
    Michael Duffy’s eyes flickered as I reached in my coat pocket and brought out my two coins. It gutted me to turn my money over to that man, and it turned my stomach to see how my mother stroked Duffy’s head and cooed at him. But after enough of her coaxing, he lay down in the back room and his snores soon filled the place. We ate our bread and was left hungry still. My mother gave Charlie a place to sleep by the stove and put me in the back room opposite the shakedown mattress where Mr. Duffy snored. Mam lay down next to me and pulled a cover over us. All that night she slept with her only hand clasped around mine, and not even the beastly snorts and mutterings of my new stepfather could make me sorry I was returned to her.
    When I woke the next morning, Mr. Duffy was gone. —I do not like him, I told her. —You never did neither. You said he was a louse.
    —But he married me. Useless as I am.
    —Where is our Aunt Nan? I asked. —Where’s her baby she was going to have?
    —She died of having it. The child along with her, Mam said. Her voice was flat and her eyes turned into the distance as she rubbed her palm over the round of her stomach. —Duffy took it hard.
    —He does not like Charlie, I said.
    —That fella cannot stay here. I’m sorry. We Duffys’ve not got the wherewithal.
    Nobody had no wherewithal it seemed. If Duffys had nothing to spare for Charlie, how would they spare anything for our Joseph and our Dutchie? There did not seem to be no plan to be a family of Muldoons. It was only me now. Was it?
    —You’ve got to leave, Mam told Charlie, when he woke up. —I’m sorry for it.
    —So long as I ain’t wandering the cowpaths of Rockford, Illinois, I’ll be grand, he said, with a bitter quirk to his mouth.
    Mam gave Charlie bread and tea, and spoke kindly to him, and we all went down the stairs and through the alley to the street.
    There Charlie tipped his hat.