I’ve been so selfish, only thinking of my own pain when I was causing other people grief.’
Her dad took her hand and squeezed it tight.
‘Just get better, that’s all I want. No apologies needed – I’ll be happy with a peaceful night’s sleep.’
‘You’ll get it. Especially now I’m staying here with Maxim. He can keep an eye on me and stop me from relapsing.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me?’
‘Dad, you have a liquor cabinet. I’d prise open any lock you put on it and drink the place dry. At least here there isn’t any temptation. Besides, you don’t have any room for me.’
‘I just worry that… being here with Maxim…’
‘You’re worried that I’m living in the house that overlooks the graves of my husband and daughter.’
He hesitated, scanning her face, and nodded.
‘If anything, I feel better knowing that they are so close. I’ve lost everything they had, we had. Now, all I have are memories and their graves. I want to be close to them.’
‘I understand. But if you change your mind…’
The front door opened and Maxim entered. His cheeks were red from the chilly autumn air, and orange and red leaves followed him into the house.
‘Dad,’ he said. ‘How’re you?’
‘Fine, son. Just checking in on the patient.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll nurse her back to health.’
He took the shopping bags into the kitchen and out of sight.
Her dad leaned in, holding her hand again, and gave it a squeeze.
‘Remember,’ he said, quietly. ‘You can always come and stay with me.’
Maxim entered the room. ‘Anyone for tea?’
‘I’m going to go,’ their father said, as he stood up. ‘I’ll come round in a few days.’
‘Yeah?’ Maxim replied.
‘Yeah. Maybe we could have dinner.’
‘That’d be nice,’ Paige said.
‘I guess so,’ Maxim said. ‘Paige, I was hoping you’d come with me to the church today.’
Oh great.
‘I’d love to.’
‘Brilliant. You’d best get ready.’ He turned to their father. ‘Good seeing you, Dad.’ Maxim walked him to the door.
Their father gave Paige a wave before he left the house.
‘I don’t have anything to wear to the service. I only have this.’ She looked down at the tracksuit that Maxim had lent her. ‘Dad bought me some clothes, but they aren’t my size either.’
‘We probably don’t have time to go shopping, but I have a long coat you could wear. What’s in the bags?’
‘The stuff that Dad brought over. The shoes and tights will work.’
‘You can wear them with the coat until we go shopping.’
She smiled politely, as he wandered upstairs to get the coat. She suddenly felt like she was a child again, being offered to be taken places, sheltered, as though she were incapable of following her own lead. She didn’t have a home of her own, a car, money, or belongings. Perhaps she needed to be guided until she could be trusted.
‘Here,’ Maxim said, coming down with the black coat.
Paige got up and took the coat from him, checking it over.
‘Thanks.’
‘You’ve probably got time to freshen up. Forty-five minutes, all right? I can meet you over at the church.’
‘Okay.’
‘I’m really glad to have you here, Pudge.’ He seemed genuinely happy, and his green eyes had a brightness in them that she hadn’t seen in a while. He must have been lonely, too. ‘It’s like we’re kids again.’
***
The bathroom was freezing. Even under the hot water, the cold air bit at her wet skin. She kept the showerhead low and her plaster cast high, away from the spray. The old windows allowed a cold draft to seep into the small house; the panes shivered in their frames.
Paige got out of the shower, and dried herself down as her teeth chattered. She quickly wrapped herself in Maxim’s dressing gown, which had been hanging on the back of the bathroom door, and wrapped her wet hair in a towel.
Back in the bedroom she had been told to call her own, she tried on the clothes her father