Free A Life More Complete by Nikki Young Page B

only
friend I have who’s lasted more than a few months and I pay you.”
    “I told you before. I am your friend
and not because you pay me. We’ve been through a lot together.”
    “Thank you, but it’s not the same. You
have Gia and Ben and they know you better than anyone. You can be yourself. I
saw it. You were a different person, free and happy. I saw your real smile,
your real laugh. You’re not happy and I know I’m part of that.”
    “We are friends, but unfortunately
you’re part of my job too, and I hate my job. That doesn’t mean I hate you or
feel differently about you because you’re attached to it. And anyway, you have Luke.
It’s been what, two years now?”
    “You can’t be serious?” She looks at
me with wide eyes and disgust. “I’m not stupid. I don’t love Luke and I never
will. He’s an asshole, but he understands my career and for some reason I can’t
walk away from him, even after what happened.”
    “At least you can admit it. I spent a
long time with a guy who treated me like shit, but I couldn’t admit it to
myself. I guess I thought I deserved it in some way.”
    “I can’t even imagine that. You are
so, I don’t know, assertive?” she says questioning her words.
    “That’s not really me. My job has made
me that way. In my private life I’m much more reserved.”
    “And I guess my job has hardened me.”
She shudders a little and her mouth turns down. I watch her face fall and know
that this business has ruined her, possibly beyond repair.
    “You’re still young. You have time to
find yourself, find a good guy, be happy. You know, the basics.” I smile at
her, but the look on her face tells me she knows it’s my fake one. I can’t hide
from her anymore.
    “You’re full of shit. There is no way
you can pull your publicist crap on me anymore, not after I saw what you’re
really like. You can bet your ass I’m gonna call you on it, too.”
    “At least you know, now. We can fake
it together.”
    After a delay in Chicago, which
pushed our arrival back several hours, we finally arrive back in L.A.. The
delay makes me anxious. It puts more time in between being able to see Ben. It has
taken me far too long to realize he is exactly what I’ve wanted and as the
minutes pass I don’t want to wait for what is to come. My legs bounce on their
own accord; I chew my bottom lip nervously and pick my cuticles till they bleed.
I finally pull into my driveway and kiss Trini good-bye without ever leaving
the car.
    “Where are you going?” she asks,
puzzled.
    “Ben’s.” I smile backing out before
she’s even in her car. She smiles and shakes her head. She cups her hands
around her mouth and yells, “Behave yourself!” I wave to her out the window and
she blows me a kiss.
    Ben’s house is still lit up when I
pull into the driveway. I check the door and it’s locked, so I silently push my
key in and unlock the door, letting myself in.
    “Ben?” I call quietly. He rounds the
corner a few seconds later. Standing in the doorway to the kitchen wearing
boxer briefs. He looks tired and runs his hand through his hair. When his eyes
finally meet mine his mouth falls open in surprise and I run to him. I jump
into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. I can’t stop kissing him, my
lips press firmly against his, my tongue moving with ease in his mouth. I run
my hands through his hair and down his chest and back up again. He sets me on
the table and I part my legs to allow him closer to me. He attempts to pull
away, but I tighten my grip on him and continue assaulting him with my mouth
and hands. When the urgency finally subsides, my kisses turn slower and softer.
He presses his forehead to mine, his hands on either side of my face, his eyes
closed as he breathes heavily.
    “I’m glad to see you, too,” he
whispers.
    My heartbeat quickens and my stomach
flutters. I can’t hold back any longer and the words slowly roll off my tongue,
“I love you.”
    “What?” he