Free Corrupting Dr. Nice by John Kessel

America. I'm going to breed this one with historical iguanas. I'm an iguana breeder."
    "I didn't know iguanas had breeds."
    "Oh, yes. There are all sorts. There's the highland iguana, the mutant blue iguana, and of course the Malibu Max. This one here's a Nice."
    "A Nice?"
    "Well, it's not really very nice. Your true Nice is prone to losing his tail in moments of anxiety. That's not a show quality iguana."
    =For a guy who wouldn't lie to that dame, you're developing a disturbing flair for this.=
    "You can imagine how bad it looks when your iguana loses its tail in the middle of a judging," Owen continued. "Because an iguana show is really quite anxiety provoking, for the iguana as much as for the owner."
    "I don't doubt it," Halam said.
    "That's why we're hoping to breed with the historical Central American iguana, to see if we can eliminate this undesirable trait."
    The doors slid open.
    =Please get us out of here," Bill said. =But don't run.=
    "Good luck," Halam said.
    "Yes. Well--good luck on your harmonica imports."
    "I hardly need it," Halam said. "Business is booming,"

SIX: A DAY AT THE PET STORE

    A lot of tourists made no concessions to local customs, but in order to fit in with first century Jerusalem, Genevieve had downloaded Aramaic. It made her brain itch as if an ant colony had taken up residence in her head. Although she did not plait or oil her auburn hair in the fashion of the wealthy women of the times, she wore the traditional shawl to conceal it. Her white linen shift fell to her heels, and over it she draped a rich purple robe. Her sandals were simple soles strapped to her feet. On first glance, someone spotting her in the street might take her for a young Judean wife.
    Her father hummed a tune as he oiled the beard he had grown overnight. Over his own shift he wore an embroidered white robe, with a curiously chased silver belt. Add gloves to keep him from touching anything unholy and he would look every bit the wealthy patriarch.
    "You will dazzle him senseless at the dance tonight," August said. "And tomorrow--tomorrow I will dazzle him dinosaurless."
    Smuggling a dinosaur uptime would be tricky, but aside from the fact that it was alive, it was something they had done many times before. There were the gold artifacts they'd lifted from the Inca Sun temple in Cuzco from under the eye of the Conquistadors, Charlemagne’s sword they’d sold to that meat packer in Des Moines, the Hemingway manuscripts they'd stolen from the Gare de Lyon in Paris.
    "Where are we going to sell it? " Genevieve asked him. "A thing like this has got to be next to impossible to fence."
    "This is the beauty of it, my beauty. We're not going to fence it. Do you remember Lance Thrillkiller?"
    "I thought he went down with the Titanic."
    "Yes. Well, he's up again. He has a new scam going back home, a phony committee to protect the past. When we return to the 21st century, we will donate Wilma to Lance's committee, for her own protection. Think of the contributions a dinosaur will raise for the cause."
    "But she'll be stolen property. Won't that draw a lot of heat?"
    "She's already stolen property. Our friend Dr. Nice had no leave to draw such a specimen from an unsettled moment universe. The audacity of his snatching the first dinosaur out of the Cretaceous will draw the ire of every protect-the-past radical in the Northern Hemisphere. Out of that will arise enough of a legal smokescreen to keep Vannice from reclaiming her. Plus contributions in the millions to Lance's cause--of which we will take our percentage."
    "Seems risky to me."
    "Life is risky. Nothing ventured--"
    "--nothing lost."
    He looked at her, as if trying to make up his mind about something. "Come now, it's time to go," he said abruptly. "We need to buy a dog. A valuable Egyptian saluki. Did you know I was a member of the Westminster Kennel Club?"
    August adjusted his shawl so that the ends dangled down his back and they headed down to the hotel kennel. The kennel