though he were considering something. “When I first heard your voice I sure that I’d met you before. I just couldn’t place you.”
Her heart stopped. But she forced her smile to remain in place. “And now you know?”
He couldn’t know. Then he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. He put them on the table between them.
She knew those glasses. She swallowed and stared at Numbers101.
I f Saskia was the Messy Maiden, then she’d get the significance. If she wasn’t, he was going to look like a tool. Nerves drew tight in his gut and cold sweat formed between his shoulder blades, but he was feeling pretty confident it was her. She’d relaxed since the first time he’d seen her. The prim smiles were gone and he recognized the wider ones. The cheeky grins and the look in her eyes. It was entirely more powerful in real life than online.
He was very aware that his palms were now feeling a little sweaty too. This was more nerve wracking than he thought it would be. He imagined a sense of relief in being able to come clean about his messy fantasies, but she wasn’t saying anything. She was just looking at the glasses.
Staring.
Slowly he unfolded the arms of the sunglasses and then put them on.
He had crossed the line into complete dickhead territory now if it wasn’t her. He’d brought the glasses just in case the conversation had opened up. If he was sure. He was ninety-nine percent sure. And yesterday when he’d seen her at work he’d realized that while they could date and hide the truth it was going to be worse coming out later. For her to know that he’d known her secret and said nothing would look terrible.
Worse than this and the way she was now looking at him, with her mouth parted in shock?
At least he hoped it was shock not horror.
He waited a couple of heartbeats then took the glasses off and put them back in his pocket. She hadn’t asked what he was doing. That had to be a good sign. She had to know what they meant.
The silence stretched on. He couldn’t say anything. She had to. Maybe he did have to go first since he’d create this silence. He reached for his water, his throat dry.
“How long have you known?” Her voice was really quiet.
“I didn’t, not for sure, until just then. But I knew your voice and I needed to take the chance.”
“I’m not her.” She shook her head. The sexy glint in her eyes had been replaced by worry. “Not really.” She glanced away, her gaze landing on the door. “This has never happened before.”
She was going to get up and walk out if he didn’t do something. “I asked you out because I wanted to get to know you.”
Her gaze snapped back to him. “You wanted to know if I was her.”
He paused then sighed. “At first, yes. But I like you…and her.”
However from the look of further horror on her face, Saskia had obviously separated her online persona from her real life one.
She looked away, for the first time tonight he felt a growing distance. She couldn’t even look him in the eye. He’d blown it, just like last time. He was a freak in her eyes.
She shook her head as if having an argument with herself.
The waitress brought dessert, but he didn’t have the stomach for it. He could pay the bill and leave.
“I’m not going to say anything about your online job.” He tried to reassure her.
“You can’t without naming yourself.” Her gaze was hard and sharp. If looks could kill he should be on the floor bleeding from a fatal wound. At least it would be over then. If she’d just walk out, or say they were done. Something.
“This is weird for me too, but I couldn’t hide that I knew. It wouldn’t have been fair.” He believed in honesty even if it hadn’t worked out too well for him in the past.
She made a noise that could’ve been agreement and the tension from around her lips eased. “I suspected, but I’d convinced myself that I was just being suspicious.”
So she’d felt something
Learning to Kill: Stories