Free Buddha Da by Anne Donovan

whole day alone wi this wumman. Suppose she was workin late every night wi some guy? If it was the other way roond, would you no be a bit jealous?’
    ‘Ah know whit you’re sayin, but ah just don’t feel that way. Ah trust Liz.’
    ‘Ah trust Tricia but ah still wouldnae want her tae be daein the late shift wi thon new doctor at the practice.’
    ‘The wan that looks like thon guy oot ER, the foreign wan?’
    ‘Aye. Look, all ah’m sayin, is, why don’t you just make sure you spend a bit mair time on yer ain wi Liz? Take her oot for a nice meal, go tae the movies. Buy her some flowers.’
    ‘Then she’ll definitely think ah’m up tae sumpn.’
    ‘Naw, she’ll no. Anyway, the job in Embra’s finished. You’ll no be seein Barbara again.’
    ‘Ah said we’d dae her wee back room later, mibbe efter Christmas.’
    ‘Well, we can make sure that we baith go through. Surely Liz’ll no think we’re havin a threesome.’
       
    Ah’m watchin Liz on the dance flair and she’s lookin fantastic. She’s up wi Alex, ma brother-in-law, a baw-faced guy who leaps around the flair wi nae sense of rhythm but loadsaenthusiasm. He got her up for ‘Brown Sugar’ and even when ah was young that song was ancient. Liz is a brilliant dancer, but – she’s tall and slim and the night she’s wearin a kinda lacy skirt and a crop top that shows a bit of her belly when she’s dancin. Her hair’s usually quite smooth, doon tae her shoulders but the night she’s messed it up and put loads a make-up and glitter on her cheeks. She said she was daein a kinda early Madonna look, black lacy gloves and net skirts, and it reminds me a bit of how she looked when we first went oot thegether. Ah’d went round tae Paul’s hoose for the first time. We were still tryin tae be punk rockers though it was 1981 by this time, and we were just sittin in the livin room when Liz came in wi her pal, all dressed up tae go oot, dead pale make-up and loads a black eyeliner, dressed in a ruffled shirt wi big shouders, tight black troosers and they wee ankle boots ah always liked. She looked a lot aulder than fourteen then, dead sophisticated. Ah used tae get slagged stupit when ma mates fund oot she was only fourteen, but she seemed aulder, was always mair mature. Then, as ma da said, it didnae take a lot tae be mair mature than me. S’funny, ah think she’s got younger lookin as the years have passed.
    Ah’d decided tae re-create ma punk look for the party though ah didnae have the gear noo and ah don’t think it’d fit me any mair anyway. No that ah’m fat or that. Ah mean oor John’s put on the beef big style since he turned thirty. Tricia’s a nurse and she’s aye on at him tae loss some case he takes a hert attack. Ah’ve been quite lucky that way – seem tae just burn it all up – but ah’m no a skinny teenager any mair.
    Anyway, ah got an auld black perra breeks and a tee shirt and ah ripped it up a bit wi a razor blade and stuck a fewsafety pins roond. Ah bought chains oot a B&Q and hung them roond ma neck. While ah was puttin gel on ma hair and makin it aw spiky, Anne Marie sat and watched me.
    ‘Da, did you really used tae look like this when you were young?’
    ‘Aye, sort of, hen. Except ah used tae dye ma hair as well – ah’d purple bits in it at wan time.’
    ‘But, ah mean, did you actually go oot like that?’
    ‘Of course, that’s the whole point – nae use sittin round the hoose where naebdy can see you, is there?’
    ‘You look mental.’
    ‘That’s the idea – ah mean if you’re a punk you’re supposed tae look mental.’
    Ah started jumpin around the room.
    ‘I am an antichrist – I am an anarchist …’
    ‘Gies a break, Da – hope you’re no gonnae dae that the night. Some of ma mates’ll be there.’
    Tricia tellt Anne Marie tae bring along a coupla pals so’s she widnae be on her ain. All the other girls in the faimly are either a bit aulder or a good bit younger than her.
    ‘Mibbe ah’ll