Free Wicked Pleasure by Nina Bangs

Deimos. “Hey, can I go out to do some action hero stuff? Maybe someone is drowning in the surf or something.” His eyes brightened. “Or maybe he isn’t drowning. Maybe he’s being attacked by a great white.”
    Sparkle narrowed her eyes to annoyed slits as she glared at her Vin Diesel knockoff. “It’s March. It’s chilly. It’s raining. I don’t think anyone’s frolicking in the surf today.”
    The next time she agreed to mentor a cosmic troublemaker newbie, she’d lay a five-page questionnaire on him. And every question would have the word sex in it.
    Look at him. Six feet plus of massive muscle and he was still . . . “Are you still a virgin?”
    â€œYeah.” Red crept up his neck. “Look, I’m too busy learning to be an action hero to bother with that stuff.”
    Okay, now she was royally ticked. “ That stuff is what I’m all about. And since I’m mentoring you, you need to be about that stuff, too.”
    â€œI’ve only been in existence five years. I need more time to—”
    She was losing it. If he wasn’t careful, she’d break the heels of her favorite Jimmy Choo stilettos over his hard head, and then she’d really be pissed.
    â€œYou look like Vin Diesel and you’re . . . still . . . a . . . virgin . You’re a damned minion of the Queen Of All Things Sexual, and you’ve . . . never . . . had . . . sex . Does anyone else think that’s strange, hmm?” Sparkle hadn’t a clue why steam wasn’t coming out of her ears. “Go somewhere and have sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!” Watching the red creep farther and farther over his shaved head every time she said the word “sex” gave her a little satisfaction.
    Oh, hell. What was the use? She’d made him watch videos, read books, and even go to a lecture given by a former madam who knew her stuff. Results? Nothing.
    â€œSo what should I do now?” He was edging toward the front door.
    â€œI don’t know. Go separate the M&M’s into piles according to color. I don’t give a damn.”
    She knew he sensed freedom as he eased the door open, and she purposely waited for the moment when he thought he’d escaped.
    â€œWhoa, big guy. A little later I want you to drop by Kim’s room and check on the plants.” She smiled, her good humor restored by his disgusted groan. “And while you’re there you can explain to Kim how she can keep the plants healthy.”
    His grumbles were cut off as he slammed the door behind him. She studied the door, her thoughts on Deimos. He wasn’t cut out for the job of spreading sexual chaos. He’d never follow in her footsteps. But she kind of liked him. The way she’d like a big, clumsy puppy. Not something she’d ever admit to anyone, least of all Deimos. She couldn’t send him away in disgrace. Sparkle shrugged. She’d worry about what to do with Deimos later.
    Suddenly the front door was flung open as if punched by a giant fist. Wind whistled, lightning flashed, and a clap of thunder shook the store.
    Sparkle ran around to the front of the counter just as a large black cat stalked through the open door. It leaped onto the counter and stared at her from brilliant amber eyes.
    She felt the warm glow of joy that only one being in the universe could make her feel. “Mede.”
    The cat’s eyes gleamed with evil laughter. “Your big bad lover boy is in the house, babe. Where’s the fridge?”
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    â€œI’m going to my room, suck on lemon drops until I’m permanently puckered, and then I want us to meet for dinner so you can explain to me what you are and what’s going on around here.” Kim sounded quietly desperate. “I’d say come to my room right now, but I need a few hours to scream, pound my head against the wall, and come to terms with Fo’s new status as detector of all things