was howling with laughter at my expense, although
anything was better than her tears, she raised her eyebrows focussing on me.
“Are you a bunny boiler?”
I should have expected that. “No....we had broken up a few
months before it was all very amicable”.
“Why did you smash up her car then?”
Shit now I had to really spill, I couldn’t look her in the
eye anymore deciding to focus at my hands instead. “I heard through a friend
she had been caught drunk driving...lost her licence for a year”.
“Right....okay I’m guessing there’s more to it than that?”
Deep breath. “Yes.....just over two years ago my dad was
killed in a car accident, he was driving home from work when he was hit by a
drunk driver....who strangely was uninjured...so I guess I just flipped
out....she knew how I felt about it, we were together when he died she helped
me through it”.
I felt her eyes on me but I couldn’t move I was still locked
in position staring at my hands.
“Hey...Alex”. She was so close to me now her hand was
cupping the side of my face lifting it up to look at her. ”Hey I’m sorry about
your dad....I think you beat me again and not just at pool”.
I forced myself to look at her though watery eyes. “I don’t
think so....I was just lucky I had people around me to stop me going off the
rails completely”.
Taking advantage of our solitude I pulled her into a quick
hug relishing the feel of her body next to mine I gently whispered into her
ear. “I can’t believe no-one helped you....I’m so sorry”. I felt her heaving a
deep breath, and hugged her tighter.
I pulled back realising how inappropriate my actions were.
“I...I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that”.
“I’m glad you did...I needed it....thank you”. She wiped her
eyes on her sleeve finishing with a smile.
“So another game....double or quits”.
I laughed. “Sure why not I’ve got nothing to lose now I’ll
rack em up”.
We played pool half-heartedly for another hour before any of
the residents stated to appear, it was so satisfying being alone without anyone
else around not have to watch what we said I really enjoyed her company. We
chatted about our childhoods and siblings Sam’s brother who lives in Canada
after meeting a Canadian while studying in London. She had not seen him in a
number of years after losing touch, but had plans to rebuild their relationship
when she got back on her feet.
I told Sam about my time at University studying photography,
how much I enjoyed it but felt a bit disconnected from it now after so many
years away from it. We discussed the expense of going to university now, the
debts that it brings and how she was not looking forward to adding to them.
Before leaving I remembered the DVD’s in the car leaving by the back door I
retrieved them from my car. Returning by the back door I handed them over in
the stairwell our hands touched for a moment too long my eyes locked on hers
confirming what I hoped was our unspoken attraction for each other as my
stomach flipped furiously.
After getting home I chewed over my conversation with Sam,
she didn’t need any more worries about debts that would hold her back from
achieving her potential and stop her getting on with her life. Thinking about
Sam’s disclosure could they have been more than friends? If they were why did
she feel the need to hide it from me, I wouldn’t have been offended. I had started
to realise how much I enjoyed volunteering at the hostel meeting lots of new
people it had given me a focus and perspective in many ways.
Chapter 10
Wednesday
After a good night sleep my decision was made I called Nick informing
him I would pay the fees for Sam to return to University, he seemed a little
surprised by my actions but I explained that Sam deserves a second chance after
all she has been through. After asking him to send me the invoice for the fees
I gave him Sam’s address and ask him to send her out a letter explaining