Free Fear of Falling by Laurie Halse Anderson

in my stomach. How did he manage to buy that? And how could he spend money on a luxury like King’s Shadow when he’s having trouble paying his bills?
    I don’t care about Dad’s money. Or what kind of car he drives. Or whether he has a fancy horse or buys me presents. I just want him back, just want us to be a family again.
    But Dad lied to me! He’s only moving back to Pennsylvania because he needs work. Not because he misses us.
    Ashley presses her lips and cheeks against the truck window, making goofy faces, trying to get Dad’s attention. My stomach twists, and I want to run and scoop her up in my arms to protect her.
    Suddenly I feel just the way I did in the dream, and the way I felt going over that jump with Comet. As if I’m falling, falling…then hitting the cold, hard ground with a thud. As if all the breath has been knocked out of me.
    I can’t believe what a chicken my dad is—he’s too scared to tell me the truth.
    Dad clicks off his cell phone and slips it back into his pocket. He still doesn’t see me.
    I’d better not let him know what I’ve heard.
    No! Maybe the old David would have done that. It would be easier, less painful to pretend I don’t know anything.
    But I’m too mad to just let it go. As he reaches to open the driver’s side door, I step out from behind the truck. “Dad—wait!”
    Dad turns around, surprised, then gives me one of his charming smiles. “David! Hey, how’s the cat doing?”
    It must be the look on my face that stops him cold. He tries again. “Hey, that was pretty neat the way you guys saved that cat. Sorry I had to slip out. I needed to check my phone messages at the hotel—”
    â€œCoward!” I blurt out.
    Dad’s jaw drops.
    Did I really just call my father a coward? I don’t care. All this time I’ve been so afraid of looking like a coward in his eyes, because I’m afraid of falling off a jumping horse. Now I realize that’s nothing to be ashamed of compared to what he’s done.
    â€œDavid,” he says, holding out his hands, palms up, like a criminal trying to look innocent, “what are you talking about?”
    I step closer and stare straight up into his startled blue eyes. “You’re afraid to admit why you’re really here!”
    â€œWhat do you mean?” he asks.
    I glance at Ashley inside the truck. The windows are rolled up and I try not to shout, so she won’t hear me. But it’s hard, because I’m so mad I’m shaking. “You think you can just turn up after a year? Just pop back into our lives like nothing’s changed, bring a pretty horse, be the big shot again?”
    â€œDavid—”
    â€œAshley cried for months when you left!” I hurl at him. “We all missed you, Dad. You stopped calling. You didn’t even write.” I pause to fight down some angry tears. “Mom knocks herself out to look after us and pay the bills, too. And Ashley—she wears that stupid purple sundress all the time like it’s some magic princess dress that will bring you back if she just wishes hard enough. Brian won’t talk about you at all. Don’t you care how much you hurt us?”
    Dad looks like a statue for a moment. Or a handsome mannequin posing as a dad in a department store window. Then he takes a step toward me, his hands outstretched. “I don’t know what you heard, David, but I can explain—”
    â€œDon’t bother.” I start to run away.
    Dad’s strong hand comes down on my shoulder to stop me. Ow! He doesn’t even remember how sore I am from the fall. “David,” he says again, his voice husky. “Wait.”
    Don’t, I tell myself. Just keep going. Keep going until you’re so far away, you can’t hear any more of his lies.
    But Dad doesn’t let go. Slowly I turn around, daring him with my eyes to lie to me