Free Love's Courage by Mokopi Shale

What will she do if he does join them? She hopes she won’t make a fool of herself, and with that thought she realises that she does want him to show up . . . badly.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” Tshepiso asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
    â€œJust wondering why I would choose to like a man I can’t have; a man who isn’t free to be with me.”
    â€œWho are you talking about? Kenneth?” her sister inquires.
    Lesego nods slowly.
    â€œBut why can’t you have him? Is he married or something?”
    â€œYou know how there’ve been so many scandals with the misappropriation of government funding, and corrupt government employees giving contracts to their friends, lovers and family . . . Kenneth is a good man, damn good at his job, and the country needs him; people like us need him. I could never be the reason that his reputation is destroyed. But my whole being cries out for him.”
    â€œHave you gone for him?” Tshepiso asks.
    â€œNo, I’ve actually avoided him. But if he comes for me once more, I won’t be able to resist; I just couldn’t . . . My heart would shatter into pieces. I would have to know what it would’ve been like, I would need to get some idea of what we could’ve been, you understand?” Lesego stares deeply into her sister’s eyes, her own heavy with a painful longing.
    â€œI just feel like I need him in my life. Like he is the answer to my prayers. Like God was listening when I described the man of my dreams and created him just to answer that wish . . . I just . . . I . . .” Lesego ducks her head and takes a sip of her wine to cover the hurt that is beginning to build up at the thought that her love for Kenneth can never be.
    â€œWell, here he is, so I guess whatever is between you is bigger and stronger than both of you.”
    Lesego turns in delighted surprise to watch Kenneth heading straight for them with determined strides.
    â€œWhat’s the worst that could happen, sis?” Tshepiso asks. “He seems willing to risk it for you. So I guess it’s up to you.”
    Their eyes lock and hold as Kenneth makes his way to them. He breaks into a big smile as he reaches their table and stretches out his hand.
    â€œHi,” he says to Lesego.
    â€œHi,” she says back.
    They stare at each other for what seems like forever, then he pulls up a chair and sits down.
    â€œAnd hello to you too, Tshepiso,” Tshepiso says sarcastically, her amused smile taking the bite out of the comment.
    â€œSorry . . . hi,” Kenneth says.
    When he turns right back to Lesego, Tshepiso rolls her eyes and motions to the waiter. “Please bring another menu and . . . Kenneth, what beer do you want? Kenneth? Kenneth!” she calls to him.
    He wasn’t listening and jumps when she starts to shout. “Uhm . . . Heineken,” he says distractedly.
    â€œYou two, let’s eat and then I’ll take my sister’s car back to the house, and you can stay here and chat and make moon eyes at each other without me around. Can we agree to that?” Tshepiso asks testily.
    Lesego and Kenneth nod their heads like children who have been reprimanded.
    The three of them have a lovely dinner, filled with laughter and teasing. After dessert Tshepiso takes her leave, and the would-be lovers stay behind.
    â€œYou shouldn’t be doing this, you know,” Lesego says, looking at Kenneth. “I’m ecstatic that you are, but I worry about what the consequences could be for you. And I’m sorry if this sounds callous, but my people need this project and I’m afraid that we’ll jeopardise everything.”
    â€œLesego, sometimes you have to be brave enough to sacrifice an important ideal to realise a vital one. I’m not sure where this is going, or where we’ll end up. But I do know that I can’t deny the strength of my feelings any longer, and I need to find out what