Free Lust (The Stripped Bare Series Book 1) by Elle McKenzie

mine, piercing me. She realises now what I’m getting at.
    “Um, yeah, they are nice too.” She looks down at her hands, she does this nervous thing where she pulls on her middle-left finger, it’s cute.
    “Do you have a problem with Dexter?” I can’t continue to play these games, so I outright say it.
    “No, of course not. He’s lovely.” She pauses and looks up into my eyes again, she looks ashamed, but there’s something else in her eyes. I’m not sure what. “I just don’t like him in that way. He’s a great fella, he’s funny and kind and genuine, but he’s not…” She stops again and I so desperately want her to say that he’s not me. Please say that he’s not me. Damn, I need her to say it.
    “He’s not what I’m looking for right now. I need to get my life together before I even think about dating.” I walk behind her so that she can’t see the disappointment on my face, I don’t know why I expected her to say that she wants me. Hell, I don’t blame her for not wanting me. I’ve been a total dickhead lately. She deserves better. I try to compose myself; I can’t let her see the effect that she has on me. I know that there’s this sexual tension between us, she’s trying her best to fight it, but I know she won’t be able to fight it forever.
    I thought last night would help me to get over her. I thought that by shagging Julz it would make my feelings go away. She has crawled her way into my mind, and she’s slowly eating away at my brain like some flesh eating zombie crap from The Walking Dead or one of those other ridiculous shows that my mum’s always talking about. I make my way back over to my chair and sit down slowly. I still don’t look her in the eyes.
    “Have I done something wrong? Has Dexter said something? I swear I didn’t mean to lead him on, I just didn’t want to hurt him.” She starts talking fast. There’s panic in her tone.
    “Don’t worry about Dex, he’s a big boy, you’re not the first girl to let him down.” I wink, but instantly regret it, feeling like a twat for making fun of my best friend. “He will get over it.” I smile, and finally connect with her eyes. I notice that she has a small freckle, right underneath her left eye; it’s shaped like a small love heart. She has some more tiny freckles covering her nose. They’re cute.
    She goes to stand. “Are we finished? I have an appointment this afternoon and really need to be getting home.” I don’t want her to leave. I stand up and make my way over to the door, she follows me and I linger just a little too long with my hand on the handle, I breathe her in as she gets closer. Finally turning the handle, just as she stops right next to me. I open the door. “Thanks for the chat, Max. I’ll see you on Monday?”
    “I’ll be here. If you have any problems, come and see me.”
    “I will do, thanks.” She doesn’t move, her arm brushes against me and I want to desperately push her up against the wall and kiss the life out of her. But I don’t, because I’m a fucking pussy. Instead, I bow my head and she moves past me and out of the door.
     
     

     
     
    I spend the Sunday out on my bike. I go across to North Wales and spend some time at the beach. I need time to think about things, I need to reassess my life. Sunday is the only day that I don’t see Mum, mainly because my brother, John, goes on a Sunday, and I don’t want to see him. I haven’t spoken to him for over a year now, since Ma fell ill. I’ll never forgive him for not helping to look after her when I needed him. He was too busy with his own life and family to give a crap about what happened to Ma. As long as it didn’t affect his life, he didn’t give a damn where she went. He’s the main reason that she’s in that hellhole instead of at home in her bed. I wanted to look after her, I wanted to get nurses in to do the things that I couldn’t do and I wanted her to stay at home. John refused to help, he insisted that