Free New Title 1 by Andersen Prunty

back, and threw open the cargo door.
    “ Hop off,” I said to the robot.
    It jumped off the roof of the truck and landed on the ground next to me like a bomb going off.
    “ Hold out your arms.”
    The robot dutifully held out its arms. I handed it a rocket launcher and a very large machine gun with a giant banana clip. That should last him for a while. I grabbed a machine gun for myself and stuffed as many grenades as I could into my pockets.
    I looked at the robot. “Now, don’t shoot until I tell you to but if I do, aim for the windows in the house. If you see Baxter… if you see anyone in the house, aim for them. Okay?”
    “ Okay. I’m a thinking traveling robot.”
    “ Yes.” I paused. “And what do you think about this?”
    “ This?”
    “ Getting Baxter out of my house.”
    “ He will get out of your house.”
    “ Yes, but what do you think about that?”
    “ He will get dead.”
    “ Does that bother you?”
    “ I am a thinking traveling robot.”
    He will get dead . I thought about those words. Baxter was the man who I had told I could never kill another human being. And now I was trying to kill Baxter. Did that make me a liar? A hypocrite? If I condoned murder but didn’t condone war, was there some kind of flaw in my thinking? Did that mean I could only condone murder if there was some personal gain to be had from it? But this was a matter of defense, wasn’t it? Wasn’t I defending my home? Wouldn’t I condone war if people were trying to invade the United States of Everything, as opposed to us invading them?
    I shrugged it all away. I had to. Now was not the time to have these thoughts. What did Corporal Grimes call them? Soft thoughts? The only thing I knew was that there was a miserable little fucker in the house I had bought and paid for and I had to get that miserable little fucker out of the house by any means necessary.
    Yes, indeed. By any fucking means necessary.
    And I had a whole truckload of means.

 
    Thirty-three
     
    Apparently when I thought of the word ARSNAL I was pretty thorough. Beside my veritable mountain of weaponry was a bullhorn. Perfect. I turned it on and aimed it toward the house.
    “ Baxter!”
    I was hoping he would either show his face or begin firing. He did neither. The little fucker.
    “ Baxter! I’M GIVING YOU TEN SECONDS TO VACATE MY HOUSE OR I WILL OPEN FIRE.” Should I have said my robot and I will open fire? Did that sound more intimidating?
    The neighborhood crowd was beginning to congregate again. Women, men, children, all gathered around my heavily armed robot and the back end of the truck and stood staring. I lowered the bullhorn from my mouth.
    “ You people should not be here,” I said. “You need to get back in your homes. Or, better yet, get as far away as possible.” I almost told them to pretend a tornado was coming but then they would only go as far as their porches.
    My neighbor looked at me. His eyes looked resigned and his white mustache was drooping. “That the guy who shot Paula?” He pointed to the house.
    “ Who?”
    “ Paula. You know, when you was leaving earlier…”
    “ Yeah. That’s him. His name's Baxter Baxter. He works for the government.”
    “ I don’t care who the hell he works for, we want him gone. Need any help?”
    I probably needed all the help I could get but I didn’t want to implicate any of these people in my struggle. “I couldn’t possibly ask you to help. It’s too dangerous. This is my battle.”
    “ If that shit’s in that house, then it’s all of our battles.”
    “ I couldn’t be responsible for that. Fighting this guy would make you guilty of all kinds of crimes, the punishments for which would be very severe.”
    “ Suit yourself then.” He walked back to the small crowd of people.
    I raised the bullhorn to my mouth once again. If I wasn’t wearing a uniform, at least I could be very very loud. “YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GO BACK INTO YOUR HOMES. YOU ARE IN DANGER IF YOU STAY OUT