Free Crashed into Love: Episode Four by Seline White

like I should’ve all those years ago.” His eyes blazed. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I’m not asking for that, but I want you to know how sorry I am.”
    My chest deflated. How could I tell him he’d apologised twice? My mind made him do it. I’d already had closure. My eyes widened. Crap, for the first time I didn’t think of Nik with furious hatred and shame. I have closure, after ten years . It was freeing, and compassion filled me. It was time to grant him the same peace. This time it was for him.
    I reached out, offering my hand. “I accept your apology.”
    Nik blinked, his mouth gaping open. “You sure you’re coherent, Mikin? I was expecting you to bite my head off.”
    A tight grin pulled my lips. “Thought about it, but it wasn’t entirely your fault. I need to let it go.” I broke the handshake and leaned against the wall. My head pounded. I needed to lie down, but no way in hell was I going back in that hospital. I couldn’t handle the pity looks; the knowledge my career was over. I couldn’t risk seeing Nina. I’d break down and wouldn’t be strong enough to do what I needed to. As much as I wanted to run in there—alright, hobble—and crawl into bed with her and try and return to our dream-world, I needed to fix myself. And I couldn’t have her there to see me struggle.
    A sudden thought struck me. “There is something you can do for me, though.”
    “Anything. Name your price.” 
    Refusing to think how betrayed Nina would feel, I muttered, “Get me off this stinking island. I need to leave.” I couldn’t be around Nina or Jos while I got my head around my new future. I refused to let them see me as an invalid. I wanted Nina. I hadn’t given up on what we shared. It wasn’t in my capabilities to walk away from her forever, but I wasn’t the man I wanted to be right now.
    I was calling a timeout. Was it weak of me to bolt? Probably. But ultimately I was doing it for my future with Nina. My self-pity party was over.
    Time for hard work and a reboot. 
    And I needed to do it on my own.
     
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