begins, “I just wanted answers. I felt like I couldn’t get over the past, what had happened between us, not without finding out how you really felt. But I didn’t expect this. I really didn’t. And I know what you mean, Chase. It is a bit weird — you and me. But I thought we could see where this goes.”
“You mean you want to go steady ?” I sneer. “You mean you want me to be your boyfriend ?”
“I don’t know, Chase,” she sighs. “Like I said, I just want to see where this goes.”
“I don’t think there is anywhere else for this to go,” I say, quiet and cold. “This is as far as I go, I’m afraid.”
“What do you mean, Chase,” she says, turning to me now, her eyes beginning to brim with tears, resting her hand gently on my shoulder.
I push it away.
“I think we’re done here, Charity,” I say.
I need to get her out of here, but I can see that I’ll need to do this as delicately as possible. She’s already getting upset, her eyes filling with tears, threatening to spill over at any moment.
“Listen,” I say, trying to keep my voice measured and calm, “I don’t know what you want from me, but you must know that I’m not the kind of guy to settle down, with you or anyone. It’s just not who I am. I don’t want you to get hurt. And I hope you’ve got some closure now, or whatever it was you came here looking for. Now, if you’ll excused me, I’ve got work to do.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, impassive. I force myself to remain silent as I watch her gathering her things, trembling and crying.
“I don’t know what I did,” she says. “What I did wrong. Please. Chase. Talk to me.”
But I remain silent, my eyes fixed on the floor.
This is the only way I won’t crack, the only way I won’t change my mind.
Eleven Years Ago ...
It was the last thing I wanted to do that summer. But Mom said I had no choice. Every year since my parents’ divorce, we’d spent the summer with my Mom’s family on Sanibel Island, Florida. I loved going there. As an only child, I loved spending the whole summer with my cousins. My house was always so quiet, but Aunt Sarah’s was full of noise — full of children, fun and games, and laughter. The island was safe and quiet, so we were allowed to go off exploring on our own. So whenever I needed some time alone, I could disappear with a book for hours. It was perfect.
But that year was different.
My mom had remarried in the spring, and Alan was a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. I had nothing against him. Until the day they sat me down, and told me that since they hadn’t had a proper honeymoon, they were going to spend the summer touring Europe.
Since it was their honeymoon, of course I wasn’t invited.
I thought they were going to send me to Aunt Sarah’s on my own, to stay with my cousins as usual. But instead, they told me that I was going to be spending the whole summer with my dad, at his beach house.
Apparently, without consulting me, they’d all decided that I needed to spend some more quality time with my dad.
And I did love spending time with my dad. I was a real Daddy’s girl in fact. I really missed him, since he’d moved out of state. The problem was that he’d remarried, too.
Now I’m older, of course I understand. But back then? I really didn’t get what he saw in Cassie. She was nothing like my mom. She pretended like she wanted to be my best friend, but I knew deep down she resented my presence. She was mean and stupid, and she had my dad wrapped around her little finger.
I’d only met her once before, on a weekend visit.
I knew my mom didn’t like her either. Nothing spiteful — the divorce was as amicable as these things can be. Really, she was just concerned for my dad, and my relationship with him. It was important to my mom that my dad was always in my life. This woman had ‘gold digger’ written all over her, and that usually means trouble.
“I know you’re
Learning to Kill: Stories