fuming inside. I hate when she does this… tries to keep me in the dark, shielded like a pitiful child who can’t handle the dangers of the big, bad world.
“There is something, yes. But I cannot see what it is. Remain vigilant, and promise me you’ll stay away from there until I can see more clearly what is happening. I sensed you went there yesterday, but please do not return again.” She turns back to the stove and starts loading food on a plate.
“We didn’t make it to the mines. They stopped us and sent us all to the McKenzie Boarding House.” I grudgingly poke at the eggs and sausage Tatiana has placed before me and force myself to eat some because I need my strength. But the way I feel now, all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep all day.
Tat raises an inquisitive eyebrow. “Who is this ‘we’ you speak of?”
“Tristan drove me since I didn’t have my car.”
“Who?”
“Tristan…you know, my new friend… I’ve mentioned him to you before…” I add when her expression remains blank.
“Refresh my memory,” she says thoughtfully.
I stare at her, confused. Tatiana never forgets a single thing, not ever . She remembers the most mundane detail of a meaningless conversation we’ve had years before. But now she’s blanking on something as significant as me actually having a new friend? What’s this about?
“He moved here a few weeks ago with his sister…” I start slowly. “She’s kind of obnoxious, but he’s really nice. I think their family might be really rich, ‘cause he has an amazing car. He’s tall, good-looking, slightly too-long blondish hair and a huge scar on his face…remember?”
“Ah, yes,” she says, not very convincingly. She turns away. I focus on forcing some food down, and try not to be too freaked out by what she just said. I know she wouldn’t lie about not remembering Tristan, but I’ve told her plenty and talked about him almost every day. How could she forget? Is something wrong with her? Is she going senile?
Truth is, I have no idea how old Tatiana is, and I’ve never asked. Sometimes she seems like she could be in her thirties, other times she seems like she’s over a hundred. Despite her great wisdom and powers, she is still a human. And all humans, magically gifted or not, eventually succumb to the fate of all mortals—old age if they’re lucky enough to make it that long, and eventually, death. But in all these years I’ve known her, I’ve never actually thought of Tat as being a real human. She seems so much stronger and more powerful than any mere mortal. Somehow it seems like she should live forever, and never die. I know that’s impossible. One day she will start to deteriorate, mentally and physically. But in all the craziness that has been my life, she’s been the one to keep me grounded. She’s been my anchor…my one source of stability. I pray this isn’t a bad sign. Hopefully she’s just been preoccupied with other events lately. Maybe Lucky is stressing her out more than I’m aware.
I eat all I can manage…which isn’t much. Tatiana moves nimbly as ever around the kitchen as she begins clearing away the dishes. She seems fine. “How are you feeling these days?”
She pauses to look at me. “I feel fine. Never better. Why?
I shrug. “No reason. Just checking.” I push my plate away and get to my feet. “Gotta go. Don’t wanna be late.
I run to my bathroom to get ready, and give her a quick kiss on the cheek on my way out the door. I pause, staring at my car keys on the hook. I debate for a moment before grabbing them. “I have an errand to run after school,” I say over my shoulder, answering her unspoken question.
I don’t want to tell her where I’m going, even though she’ll figure it out soon enough.
I don’t want to admit how weak I am, and that I’m only torturing myself.
If I want to spend my afternoons in a cemetery, reading poetry all by my lonesome and thinking of Kieron, that’s my right,