Free Gathering Shadows by Nancy Mehl

put myself in another situation where I can be rejected again.”
    Reuben’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s pretty intuitive. Most people don’t understand why they react the way they do.”
    â€œSure,” I said with a quick smile. “I may be damaged, but at least I know why.”
    Reuben didn’t laugh at my attempt to lighten the tone of our conversation. “I’ve found trying to protect yourself from pain usually makes it worse. Life hurts sometimes, Wynter. Butgetting caught in the past can destroy the good life God has planned for you.”
    I grunted. “Maybe God only has a plan for special people. I’ve decided to take over my life and do what I want with it. If He doesn’t like it, He’ll have to tell me.”
    Reuben put his spoon down. “That sounds pretty cynical.”
    â€œI-I’m sorry. That didn’t come out the way I wanted. I mean, I believe in God. I’m not trying to be rebellious; it’s just that I can’t give control of my life over to someone I don’t understand.”
    â€œDo you go to church?”
    â€œI used to, when I was a kid. But I quit going after . . . after my parents’ divorce. I don’t feel the need to be part of organized religion. Too many hypocrites there.”
    Reuben smiled. “Maybe that’s why we need churches. To help the hypocrites.”
    â€œMy mother says the same thing. She keeps asking me if I’m back in church. I know it upsets her when I say no.” I speared a big, juicy piece of tomato with my fork. “I’ll find a church someday, I guess. But right now, I’m too busy.”
    Reuben didn’t say anything, just went back to his bowl of chili. For some reason something my Sunday school teacher once said reverberated in my head. “We should never be too busy for God , children. He wasn’t too busy to give His life for us.”
    Why in the world was I thinking about that now? I shook my head as if I could jiggle the unsettling thought out of my brain. It didn’t work. It kept echoing in my mind while Reuben talked. I tried to listen, but by the time my thoughts were clear again, I was lost.
    â€œI’m sorry,” I said finally. “Could you repeat what you just said? I get a little distracted sometimes.”
    â€œSorry. I have a tendency to drone on and on.”
    â€œNo, it’s not you. Really. You were saying something about the people who live in Sanctuary?”
    â€œYes. I was explaining that no one here is hiding out from the law, if that concerns you. We don’t shelter criminals.”
    â€œI wondered about women hiding from their abusers. This would be the perfect place to start over. If you like small towns.”
    Reuben nodded. “That might be true. And releasing the wrong information could put someone in danger.”
    I couldn’t hold back an exasperated sigh. “Then why are we here?”
    Reuben smiled slowly. “Martha’s initial enthusiasm opened the door. Several of us tried to shut it, but it was too late.”
    My mouth dropped open. “You were one of the people who called my station?”
    â€œYes. I asked your boss to reconsider using Sanctuary for your special. From what he said, I assumed he’d agreed. I was surprised when you showed up.”
    â€œWhen we met, you didn’t act surprised. I got the impression you wanted us here.”
    He shrugged. “You were already in town. I was afraid asking you to leave would just make things worse. You know, reporters smelling a story. I figured if we gave you what you wanted, within reason, you’d leave. It seemed like the safest choice.”
    â€œI didn’t come here to exploit this town, Reuben.”
    â€œI know that now.” He nodded quickly and stared down at his bowl.
    â€œYou could ask us to leave, you know. It would be the safest choice, wouldn’t it?”
    He wiped his