arrive there; however, I want to remind you of things that me be incomplete here. I want you to think long and hard of things that might need to be wrapped up—things that might encourage treatment to extend your stay.”
“Do you know what the outcome of treatment would be?”
“I am not allowed to know that. It might interfere with my work.”
“What do you think I should do?”
“What do you need to do before you leave? That’s what you need to ask yourself. What do you have to finish and how long will it take?”
“I need to spend some time with each of my children and their families. I’d always planned on visiting every place I ever lived. I’d like to write a book. I’d like to lose a few pounds, but that seems to be happening without any effort on my part. I want to pay off all my old debts. That’s it.”
“That’s it? I think there is more. Something more important than most of what you’ve listed.”
“Climb Mt. Everest?”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“More mystery, Jacob? This is getting so tedious.”
“Miss Austen? Who are you talking to?”
The nurse had come in to take Maggie’s vitals.
“Oh, I, uh, I was just thinking out loud.”
“I understand. Just let me check your blood pressure and take your temp and I’ll leave you to it. I know that things are rough right now, but you seem like a strong woman. I believe you’ll handle all of this very well.”
“Thank you.”
Maggie smiled a little that someone deemed her strong. She used to consider herself a powerful woman, but that armor had eroded over time and left a very vulnerable woman. Maybe the nurse was right. That which does not kill us makes us strong. Oh, wait. That’s right. This would kill her. But it was no reason not to give it the bet fight she could.
The nurse finished her tasks and left the room with a warm smile.
“Oh, goodness, Jacob, they are going to think me a lunatic on top of everything else!”
“You’re fine, Margaret. May I tell you how glad I am that you called me?”
“Go ahead.”
“I’m ever so glad you thought to call me.”
“I’m ever so glad you responded to the call.”
They grinned knowingly at one another and it signaled not only some pent-up emotional relief, but also the start of a journey that would bind them forever.
Chapter 14,
in which Maggie wearily makes
some very big choices
Maggie was able to leave the hospital 2 days later and was relieved to be back in her own digs. Jacob was at her side all day and watched over her all night. Maggie gave up the bookshop and concentrated on planning her trek to visit her scattered offspring and plan the other things she might have time to accomplish. She felt remarkably at ease, and had pretty much decided to try at least one round of treatment.
One afternoon Jacob asked her to retrieve her writing. She did so willingly and when she had the loose pages spread out, he asked her if she thought any of them were worth completing.
“I think that they are all probably worth finishing, but realistically, I’m not going to have time to.”
“Which do you think best expresses what you want to leave the world?”
“Wow, good question.”
She spent about 20 minutes perusing them and finally came up with three finalists.
“Why don’t you spend 2 days working on each one and then you can decide from there which one is most important to complete first. Remember, we are not discounting the idea that you may have time for more than one.”
“Actually, Jacob, I’ve decided to try a round or two of chemo. It won’t be easy and I know enough to realize that I’m going to be sick as a dog from the treatments, but I am stronger than I have been in a while and I have you to partially thank for it.”
She waited for his reaction.
All he said was, “Very good.”
There was no real emotion in that response. It hurt her deeply on more than one level. Did he not care? Was he disappointed? Was he worried about the repercussions?