helped Angelina dismount. The star rose jerkily on its cable till it twinkled down on them and, holding hands, they sang the third verse:
â
In a strange and far-off land
Help, at last, will be at hand
If you wish upon a star
Your dream comes true
â
Then, exhausted, Angelina sank onto the straw. A scuffle followed as the donkey sidestepped round to cover the actual moment of childbirth, and then the camera panned in for a close-up of the holy child cradled in his motherâs arms.
From the kitchen table, a chorus of sniffs rang out as the Virgin Mary and Joseph gazed tenderly down at their offspring and sang the last verse:
â
One day when our son is tall
Weâll tell him, âWhen you were small
And we wished upon a starâ¦â
â
The piano accompaniment slowed as the couple stood up, held the holy infant aloft so that his little plastic form was silhouetted against the golden star, and slowly and softly sang:
â
âOur dream ⦠came ⦠true!â
â
The applause that rang out at the end was notas loud as the crowds on Broadway had been; but as Bryony listened to it again, and saw the close-ups of her tearful family, she knew she had never, ever, felt so proud.
The âWhen You Wish Upon A Starâ music rose to a crescendo. A red heart filled the screen.
âBut that isnât the only dream that came true this Christmas,â Trishâs excited voice-over announced. âWeâve all been following the story of Ken Undrum and his long-lost love, Cornelia Merryweatherâ¦â she continued. âWell, folks⦠hereâs the moment they were reunited!â
There was a drum roll, and the inside of the heart melted to reveal Mrs Quigg rising in slow motion from the piano stool. Then it panned round to Ken Undrum who walked towards her and flung his arms around her. Oblivious to the shouts of âEncore!â they embraced rapturously and gazed into one anotherâs eyes.
âKenâ¦â breathed Mrs Quigg.
âCorneliaâ¦â breathed Ken.
âAt last,â they both breathed, âour dream has come true!â
As Ken and Corneliaâs lips met, the heart reformed to draw a red veil over their kiss and the screen slowly turned black.
Trish stood up and beamed at camera one. âSo there you are, viewers,â she said, âour first Christmas surprise. And the happy couple are now celebrating their engagement in a luxury Broadway hotel, courtesy of Channel 4! But thereâs another surprise,â Trish went on, waving a piece of paper at the camera, âin the shape of this
film contract
. A top American film-maker has been watching Breakfast with the Bells and reckons theyâre movie stars in the making! So next year the show will be shot on location inâ¦â She paused dramatically. â
HOLLYWOOD
!â
The kitchen exploded in a series of whoops and cheers and yee-hahs as the Bells hugged each other, and congratulated each other, and danced round in one anotherâs arms. And, in all the merriment, there was no one who whooped and cheered and yee-hahâd more loudly or more joyfully than Big Bob.
They were making so much noise that not even Bryony noticed Angelina slip into the living room and go over to the Christmas tree. All eyes were still on Trish, for Trish was making yet another curious announcement.
âBut the surprises arenât over yet,â she was saying. âBefore we say goodbye and wish you alla Happy Christmas, hereâs a flashback to Angelina Bellâs special Christmas appeal, which viewers will remember we filmed last week, when Bryony was safely out of the wayâ¦â
Bryony hardly knew where to look. On the screen, her sisterâs face beamed out at her and in the kitchen Angelina stood right in front of her, holding the golden box.
âHi!â said the on-screen Angelina. âHereâs a Christmas challenge for all you
Learning to Kill: Stories