Free Defiled Forever by AM Rivera

be there at midnight. I see him then.”
     
    “Oh. Ok. The Onyx downtown right?”
     
    Vlad looks like he feels sorry for me but nods his head in confirmation.
     
    I awkwardly return to my car and head home.
     
    When I get home I text Amanda because I really don’t want to go to the club alone. By ten I am trying to look my best and I’ve given up on Amanda returning my text. I’m on my own. Onyx is a pretty famous club with the best looking high end clientele in LA. I feel like there is some kind of business deal going on there for Nikolai and Vlad tonight. I hope he isn’t angry with me for butting in. I just want to make sure he is ok. I am really not stalking him. Right?
     
    I get to the club a little past midnight. Even though it’s a Tuesday, there is still a line outside and a couple of bouncers refusing to let anyone in. I don’t want to wait alone in this line and think I will have to return home and forget about this. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Then I spot Vlad stepping outside and talking to the bouncers. I rush up before he goes back in and he seems disappointed to see me. He nods to the bouncers and I make my way inside with their help.
     
    The club is crowded and I turn to Vlad when I don’t spot Nikolai. He seems like a mixture of sadness and guilt. The thought comes to me that maybe this was all a trap. Maybe Anatoly has lured me here to get rid of me. Maybe he has already gotten rid of Nikolai.
     
    “Where is Nikolai Vlad? Is he here?” I yell over the music.
     
    “He’s upstairs. VIP.” He answers and I believe him.
     
    I spot the stairs leading up to VIP and recognize a couple of the body guards I saw before with Anatoly the time he came to the house. They seem to be controlling who can get upstairs. Vlad is close behind me as I head over to them. They part for me to go up and I hold my too short dress tight so no one can look up it.
     
    Everything is dark blue under the lights and the music is thumping when I spot Nikolai lounging back on a sofa. His arms are spread out on the back of the sofa with a beautiful woman under each arm tucked into him and rubbing his chest and thighs.
     
    I feel heat spread through me. Head to toe humiliation. “Nikolai?” I say.
     
    “Oh Fuck. It’s the judge’s daughter! Hey Princess, what are you doing here?” He slurs a little too loudly.
     
    I think it’s fake. I can’t find words to speak.
     
    “Come on sit down with us. We can handle one more right girls ?” He says and I feel sickened when one of the girls with blue black hair down to her waist says it won’t be the first time.
     
    I keep waiting for Nikolai to laugh that this is one of his cruel jokes he gets off on. He leans in still smiling at me and kisses one of the girls on her temple. Not a joke then.
     
    I turn to walk out and he says “Don’t be like that Princess. Come party with us.” Followed by lots of laughing from the three of them.
     
    Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as I rush down the stairs chanting over and over in my head. “Act cool. Don’t be a drama queen. Don’t be a drama queen.”
     
    I hear Vlad say “I’m sorry miss.” As I make my way through the door and back outside. I am gutted. How stupid of me! Such a fool!
     
    I don’t really remember the drive home but I made it by two. I lay across my bed in private and cry myself to sleep.

 
     
    Nineteen
     
    Today is the first day of the rest of my life as they say. Daddy is just hanging around when I go to the kitchen for breakfast. I feel beaten and battered but I know what I am worth. I have a job and school starts soon. I am better than all of the pain and torture of loving someone like Nikolai. It is really over. I am finished. New day.
     
    “My darling girl. Why are your eyes swollen from crying? I thought seeing a therapist was helping you deal with all of that. You’re seeing Matthew still? What do you have to cry about?” He says.
     
    “I had a bad night Daddy.