surely there was something -"
"There was nothin', you did better than anyone else could `ave."
"But it wasn't enough."
A long silence followed these words. The desperate sadness pounded through her blood until Annabel could barely stand it. She wanted to wake up, to go back to her fine things...for an imperfect cup of tea to be her biggest worry.
After all they had witnessed, Daniel and Annabel were unaware of anything left to say. Every topic seemed so trivial. Besides, Annabel didn't know anything about Daniel, nor him about her. The tension grew until out of nowhere, Daniel started to hum.
He chose a melancholy tune, his forearms resting against his knees and his head bent towards the ground, as if in prayer. Annabel had never heard the song before but it fit the situation so perfectly she could have cried. Her ears prickled and strained as she listened with rapt attention. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. His voice carried the song perfectly, staying low and quiet yet smooth, gliding over the notes with practiced ease. She brought her own knees up under her chin and tilted her head to the side, shuffling subconsciously closer. She truly believed in that moment, she would do anything for the people in that small, grimy stable. The realisation was at the same time both terrifying and exhilarating.
All too soon Daniel stopped singing. The darkness mourned the loss of his music, once more becoming thick and oppressive. It crept into every crevice of the small room so Annabel felt blind, unable to even see her hands three inches from her face.
Hearing Daniel shift beside her she looked up. She only saw the whites of his eyes facing her in the gloom. The sounds of Patsy's grief had drifted some time ago into the uneven breath of someone deep in slumber. Every now and then a groan escaped her lips and Annabel felt sure she was reliving the horrific birth of the baby as she slept.
"What happened to Hetty?" Annabel asked, speaking quietly to avoid disturbing her sleeping friends. Daniel didn't answer for a few minutes but when he did his voice sounded strained, as if he too were anxious. He seemed on the surface to be dealing with Hetty's horrible death with an almost blasé attitude but, having been at the scene herself, Annabel saw that deep down he was barely clinging on.
"I don't know," he whispered. He sounded angry. "Tom took her. I didn't wanna tell Patsy, it'd make `er worse."
He shuffled, unable to sit still at the mention of his brother. Annabel's cheeks grew hot with anger as well.
"What will he do to her?"
Daniel's arm brushed Annabel's as he ran a hand through his hair, drawing in another shaky breath.
"I - I don't know." His voice caught and his body stiffened. His shoulder next to hers was trembling, making the material of her dress scratch against her skin. She didn't dare move.
"She deserved more - so much more. I shoulda given it to `er. She wanted me but I - I thought she'd marry someone better, someone good for her. I got angry when she had the twins, didn't understand why she'd done it. I thought she were gettin' back at me for - for breakin' her heart. I left her alone `cuz Tom was already jealous, thought we were sleepin' together or summit but I never, not with her. I didn't see her like that. I shoulda helped her more. I shoulda been there...or married `er when she asked, not put her in `is way."
"You didn't Daniel. How could you have known this would happen?"
"She was always fiery. She wanted what she wanted ya know? But I jus'...there was another girl I liked, but then tha' didn't work. She were havin' it away with another man, ran off to the town with `im. I had to stay `ere, had to keep an eye on Hetty. Seein' Hetty with Tom, weak an' broken after I'd turned her down for someone worth less than nothin' to me now. It nearly killed me every day."
"Did you love Hetty?"
There was another long silence.
"Not the way she wanted, as a friend or a sister perhaps, but nothin'