clapped a hand over her mouth, "Whoops! Too late!"
Brandon scowled. Turning to the boys, he said, "She does NOT tell me what to do. Don't ever let a girl tell you what to do unless she's your girlfriend!"
Lily looked up at Shelley. "I thought you said he wasn't your boyfriend."
"He isn't," denied Shelley.
"But you tell him what to do, and he just said not to let a girl tell a boy what to do 'less she's their girlfriend!"
"Brandon doesn't know what he's talking about. Ignore anything he says," Shelley said, hushing Lily. She glanced at Brandon and said, "So are you going to let us play or what?"
"No," he flatly refused, "Go play with Barbies. Or better yet, teach them a cheer!"
"I'll teach you a cheer," Lily said, her voice barely audible.
She walked over to Brandon, who towered over her so that her head barely reached his waist, and chanted, "Boys are dumb. So are you. See my thumb? See my hand too?"
She held up her hand, and when Brandon was looking at it with a puzzled expression, Lily punched his stomach with her other hand. Hard. Well, as hard as six year old girls can punch.
"Ow!" he doubled over in pain, "Fucking girls."
Shelley high-fived Lily, who looked quite pleased with herself. "Wow, Lil, that was great!"
Little Cameron and his buddies were pointing and laughing at Brandon. "You got hit by a girl!" they shouted gleefully.
Brandon glared at Shelley. "And is this what you've been teaching the girls? Boys are bad? She'll never get a boyfriend that way," he said, pointing at Lily.
"And you'll never date a decent girl if you're sexist," she retorted.
"There you go, being all feminist and shit on me again. Go get laid!" he spat.
"You do realize that these kids are hearing inappropriate language, don't you? What kind of good example are you? Oh, their virgin ears are scarred forever!" Shelley said sarcastically.
Brandon shook his head. "Why don't you just leave? Less problems for everyone."
"No way! I got here first!"
"And you've overstayed your visit long enough."
Shelley seized the football from the ground and handed it to Katie.
"Come on, Lil, let's go play real football," she said smugly.
"Hey! We were playing with that!" Brandon protested.
"Not anymore," smirked Shelley.
It was so fun watching Brandon seethe like that. That was one of the things that made life worth living.
"If I ask nicely can we PLEASE have it back?"
"If you ask nicely maybe I'll let you play with us," she answered casually.
"Up yours!"
Shelley gave him a toothy grin. "Don't I already have a stick shoved up my butt?"
"Screw you!"
"If I were you I think I'd like to screw me too."
Brandon was silent, as if trying to process her sentence. "You're so annoying."
"You're one to talk," she scoffed.
"I don't need to stand here and listen to this. Let's go boys," he motioned to the kids to follow him, but they were rooted to their spots.
"No," said a dark-haired boy, "We want to play football!"
"Well we're not going to play with them ," explained Brandon, "They're girls. And we don't like girls, do we?"
"I like Shelley," said Cameron, "And she's a girl. Does that mean I like girls? Ew!!"
"You can play with us if you want, Cameron. You too, Luke," Shelley beckoned the boys to come forward.
"You're just trying to corrupt them," said Brandon.
"You've already done that. I'm only trying to undo it all."
"Whatever," was Brandon's careless response.
"Play, Brandon, play!" yelled Luke, "Play with us!"
"I don't think Shelley wants me here. It's cool, I'll just go do something else," said Brandon.
Luke, Cameron, and their friends looked at Shelley with pleading eyes. How could she resist that?
"Sure, whatever. Brandon can play."
"Yay! Hey, we should play little kids against big kids!" cried Cameron.
"Yeah!" agreed Lily.
"How about girls against boys?" suggested Brandon.
"No!" the kids shouted in unison.
"You and Shelley against me, Luke, Lily, Katie, David, Martin, and Timothy," Cameron said firmly.
Brandon didn't