Free Ex-girl to the Next Girl by Daaimah S. Poole

and opened my bills. I paid everything regularly. My gas bill was three hundred dollars for one month. That was ridiculous! I wanted to wash clothes, but I didn’t feel like doing anything else. Not a dish! I went upstairs and got in the bed. What I needed was a nap—a nice, cozy nap. Then I’d wake up and get the boys. I went upstairs and turned the television on because its blare usually puts me at ease. I took off all my clothes and tossed them across the room.
    A show called Amazing Love was on. The show was about couples who overcame barriers for love. I started to have the show at me and Malik’s wedding. I’m glad I didn’t. This episode was about a couple who had met in the tenth grade. They were separated for ten years, but recently reunited. They both thought about each other over the course of ten years. The wedding was at their old school’s gym where they had their first dance. It was so nauseating. Then they let the doves out at the end of the ceremony. I had had it. I was going to do that at my wedding, but I didn’t get a chance. Seeing the white, angelic, peaceful birds fly reminded me of my wedding that never was. I got instantly sick; it triggered something. “Good for fucking you,” I said as I threw the remote at the television.
    I don’t know what happened, but I kept repeating the same phrase. “How could you, Malik? How could you, Malik?” Tears streamed down my face. I snapped out of it and went into the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My light brown hair was standing up as if I had been shocked.
    â€œMalik, how could you? Whhhhhhhhy, Malik? Why you had to do this to me? I did everything you asked me to do. Why, why, why, Malik? I didn’t deserve this. I was a good woman to you. I did everything. Everything you asked, I did. All I wanted was for you to be good to me, be honest.” My head was throbbing. I couldn’t think. I looked in the medicine cabinet and took a few Tylenol. I went and lay down. I would get the broken glass up later. I set my alarm for five. I could sleep for three hours. I would then pick up Kevin after school and Kayden from daycare. I just needed to rest a little. I will feel much better when I awake, I told myself before I shut the world out.
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    It was dark outside when I awoke. It was not just-got-dark, it was pitch-black-dark. I searched around my bed for my cell phone. When I finally found it, I flipped it open. The time read 7:08. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my bag and keys and raced out the door. I put the key in the ignition when my phone rang.
    â€œWhere are you?” my mother asked.
    â€œMommy, I can’t talk. I have to pick up the kids.”
    â€œI have them. I picked them up. Their schools called me. It was either me go get them or DHS.”
    â€œThey’re okay? Thanks, Mom,” I said as I sighed with relief.
    â€œKimberly Vanessa Brown, I wish you would really snap out of it. You are a strong girl. You can overcome anything. This is nothing.”
    â€œMom, I’m okay. I just was sleepy. I fell asleep and my alarm didn’t go off.”
    â€œI don’t care how sleepy you are. How do you forget to pick up your children? What is wrong with you?”
    â€œI don’t know what happened, Mom.”
    â€œYou shouldn’t never let a man break you. You’re better than that. Can you hear me?”
    â€œYes, I hear you,” I said.
    â€œWe’ll be there in a few moments.”
    A few minutes later the boys were running through the door. My mom used the spare key I had given her to get in.
    â€œMommy, Mommy,” they screamed. They both came up to me, hugging me. My mother gave me a look-over and shook her head.
    â€œGive me a call if you need me. I wish you would go see Dr. Burrows.” I walked my mother to the door. Then I fixed the boys a frozen pizza and we watched television before going to bed. I was so happy