Free Finders Keepers by Andrea Spalding

from his desk.
    â€œâ€˜INJUNS’” Read out Mr. Berg loudly.
    The class grinned and sat back ready to enjoy the joke.
    â€œâ€˜INJUNS ARE VERY UNTRIST/INTRUST/INTERESTING’— very good Danny, third time lucky.”
    The class giggled. Danny squirmed praying that Mike wouldn’t let on he’d told Danny how to spell ’interesting.’
    â€œINTERESTING PIPILL/PEOPUL/PEEPUL,” continued Mr. Berg. “THEY LIVE ON RISURVS AND GO TO SCOOL LIKE US BUTTHEY YUST TO LIVE A DIFERENT LIF. ” He stopped and looked down at Danny. “Need I go on?”
    Danny shook his head and looked down at his table.
    â€œAnd what should Danny be using?” questioned Mr. Berg loudly.
    â€œHis dictionary,” chorused the class.
    â€œDid you bring your dictionary with you?” asked Mr. Berg.
    Danny shook his head again.
    Mr. Berg dropped Danny’s paper on the table, walked over to a shelf and pulled out a boxed set of two of the biggest, thickest books Danny had ever seen. He slapped them down in front of Danny. “This is a dictionary. Go on. Open it Danny.”
    Danny clumsily pulled one of the heavy volumes out of its box and opened a page at random. It was full of tiny writing. Danny had never seen so many words packed together on one page. They danced and wriggled and swirled around like a whirlpool and tried to suck him inside and swallow him. Danny leaned back in horror.
    â€œGuess how many words in that book,” ordered Mr. Berg.
    â€œI dunno. Millions?” gasped Danny.
    â€œProbably,” agreed Mr. Berg. “These two books make the Concise Oxford Dictionary. It is one of the best dictionaries in the world, and our school is lucky to own one. Despite its enormous size, in order to fit in almost ALL the words of the English language, it is printed in such tiny lettering that most people need this to help them read it.” Mr. Berg dropped a large Sherlock Holmes-type magnifying glass on top of the page.
    â€œHey, neat.” Several kids came and crowded round Danny’s table.
    â€œCan I look up a word Mr. Berg?” asked Marylise, grabbing the magnifying glass.
    â€œMr. Berg, does that dictionary have swear words in?” asked Brett Gibson interestedly.
    Mr. Berg ignored him and looked over his glasses at Danny. “Do you ever use your school dictionary, Danny?”
    Danny shrank down in his seat and shook his head. How could he explain he got lost in dictionaries?
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œI can never find the words in them.” Danny whispered, ashamed.
    Someone laughed. “That’s what they’re for, dummy.”
    Mr. Berg glared around and the laughter subsided.
    Danny stuttered defensively. “If… if…” he took a deepbreath. “If you don’t know how to spell the word, how can you find it in the dictionary?”
    Mr. Berg rolled his eyes. “Then we’ll go through it again. Let’s find the word ’reserve’ in this dictionary.”
    To Danny’s horror, the magnifying glass was thrust into his hand, the giant dictionary pushed under his nose, and the entire class crowded around to help.
    â€œM R. B ERG, COULD YOU SEND D ANNY B UDZYNSKI TO THE OF FICE IMMEDIATELY, D ANNY B UDZYNSKI, THANK YOU.”
    The announcement over the school loudspeaker galvanized Danny to action. He dropped the magnifying glass as though it was red hot, pushed back his chair and shot through the crowd of students as though propelled from a cannon. Heaving a sigh of relief, he raced up the corridor and screeched to a halt in the office. He didn’t know what was waiting for him there. But it had to be better than that kid-eating dictionary.
    â€œAh Danny,” boomed Mr. Hubner, as he put the loud speaker mike back on its stand. “That was quick.”
    â€œWe were in the library,” explained Danny breathlessly.
    â€œWell come on in. There is someone who would like to meet